Russians Hate Relationship Coaching

I just ran across a Facebook post, which attracted my attention. A young woman wrote on her timeline: “An author of a book about harmony in family life shot his wife and published photos of the body on the Internet; Dale Carnegie, the author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” died in loneliness; Benjamin Spock, the author of numerous books about bringing up kids, was nearly put in a nursing home by his own sons, and a Korean bestselling author of “How to Be Happy” hanged herself of depression. In fact, this is all I know about the personal growth trainings.”

Kind of sad, isn’t it? Well, the fact is: Russians don’t like psychologists. There is no tradition of visiting counselors and advisers, like many Westerners use to do. Family issues are considered very personal, and so, they can only be trusted – if ever at all – to a closest friend. Reading books about relationships is not a traditional thing, either. Some people – mainly women – would read a book once in a while and discuss it with friends, but still, majority of the Russians make relationship decisions mainly based on intuition and on previously acquired personal experiences.

In my practice as a relationship coach, I have seen numerous couples of a Russian woman and a foreign man. The men would frequently love talking to a coach, while Russian women tend to close up and refuse from any contact with psychologists at all. So, coaching for couples is practically impossible in Russia, which makes the western men even more curious about listening to an expert in mysterious Russian character.

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2 Comments

  1. tonymarkp

     /  March 5, 2017

    I don’t agree with you. In general, having lived in the world, I can say that most people don’t like the stigma attached to visiting a psychologist or psychiatrist. People are generally fearful of admitting to seeing one so just imagine what couples say to each other in private when one suggests to the other a “couples therapist.”

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    • Yeah, I guess no one likes relationship therapists, but as far as I know, they exist in most of the western countries, and their services are being requested once in a while. In this part of the world “couple therapists” can’t survive unless they have a number of other skills to offer. We have therapists who assist alcohol addicted people, but no “relationship doctors”. Still, everyone has “that friend” or a neighbor, who is always ready to listen to your relationship complains in a quiet kitchen party, so after you share your troubles, you feel relieved. 🙂 Sharing with a friend is regarded as the best therapy. 🙂

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Jerry Jay Carroll

New York Times bestselling author

Words on Empty Ears

Understanding someone’s way with words isn’t as simple as you think.

The Laude Lady

My Summa Cum Lousy Life

LostSymbols

Are we broken or just exhausted?

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