Fifty Weeks Pregnant

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(micro fiction, one minute read)

My roommate Lena was so busy dating our group leader last year that she missed almost all of her math classes. The night before the final exam she went to bed without even opening her coursebook.

In the morning, I had to leave early, so I only met Lena in the examination room. What I saw left me speechless: she looked pale, she was sweating and panting, and from under her loose summer dress protruded a huge, round stomach!

The teacher was throwing sympathetic looks at his pregnant student.

Would you like to go first?” He suggested. “You certainly want to leave this room as soon as possible.”

Yes, thank you,” Lena agreed.

All right, then. I have only one task for you,” said the teacher. “Solve it, and you are free to go. Here is the task. How many weeks pregnant is the woman, whose boyfriend came to me exactly six months ago to tell that his twenty-six week pregnant girlfriend was not feeling well and would not attend the fall semester test?”

A Love Letter to a Russian Girl

 

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Quite often, I receive requests from English-speakers for assistance in translating or editing their personal letters, addressed to Russian women, in order to make sure that nothing of what they say would sound inappropriate or clumsy to their charming Russian readers. This post, however, may be interesting to a wider audience than learners of the romantic Russian language. You are welcome to look through the “sample” love letter in Russian and its English translation, just to train you Russian!

This is a sample set of sentences to compliment a Russian woman and to share with her about your feelings. Certainly, there may be thousands of other ways to express whart you feel, but these are just a few examples in Russian and in EngLish. If you are a learner of Russian and would like to know more about how to write your letter or to translate / pronounce some phrases, you ae welcome to contact me and ask for explanations.

Привет, Солнышко! Hello, (my) Sun! (dear / love / darling),
Я давно хотел рассказать тебе о своих чувствах, но долго не мог решиться на это. It has been a long time since I wanted to tell you about my feelings, but I could not dare to do this.
Поэтому я решил выразить свои чувства в письме. So, I decided to express my feelings in a letter.
С тех пор, как я первый раз увидел тебя, в моем сердце загорелась маленькая искорка. Since the day we met for the first time, a little sparkle lit up in my heart.
С каждым днем она росла и становилась все ярче. It kept growing bigger and brighter day after day.
Я понял, что мои искренние чувства к тебе переросли в нечто большее. I realized that my sincere appreciation for you was turning into something bigger.
Я полюбил тебя всем сердцем и теперь я не могу представить себе жизнь без тебя. I fell in love with you with all my heart, and now, I cannot imagine my life without you.
Ты подарила мне все необходимое, что нужно для счастливой жизни. You have given me all I needed to feel completely happy.
Ты для меня – идеальная девушка. You are a perfect woman (girl) for me.
В тебе нет недостатков, ты само совершенство. You have no flaws, you are a perfection.
Я поражаюсь твоей красоте и изысканности. I admire your beauty and grace.
Я горжусь тем, что самая красивая девушка в мире стала моей. I am proud to have the most beautiful woman in the world.
В твоих глазах столько нежности и искренности. Your eyes are so tender and so sincere.
Ты даришь мне тепло, которого мне так не хватало до тебя. You give me the warmth, which I was missing so much before I met you.
Я не перестаю удивляться твоей очаровательной улыбке, которая заставляет меня забыть обо всех проблемах и разочарованиях. I can’t stop admiring your charming smile, which makes me forget about all problems and disappointments.
Мне хочется улыбаться вместе с тобой, я хочу всегда держать тебя за руку. I want to smile together with you and – always – I want to hold your hand.
Но самое главное, что я ценю в тебе, это твой внутренний мир. But most of all, I admire your inner world.
Ты такая добрая и чувственная, ты всегда понимаешь меня с полуслова. You are so kind and sensible, you always understand me perfectly.
Мне нравится говорить с тобой, мне нравится молчать с тобой, я обожаю просто смотреть на тебя. I like talking to you, I like to walk in silence with you, I love to simply look at you.
В твоих движениях скрывается столько открытости и таинственности одновременно, что хочется любоваться тобой вечно. Your movements hide so much openness and mystery at the same time, that I want to watch and admire you forever.
За все это я и люблю тебя, люблю искренне и открыто. For all this I love you, I love you sincerely and openly.
Благодаря тебе я познал любовь и обрел счастье. Thanks to you, I got to know love and found my happiness.
Мне хочется кричать об этом всем и тихо шептать тебе это на ушко. I want to cry about all this to everyone, and I want to whisper these words into your ear.
Я люблю тебя больше жизни и буду любить всегда. I love you more than my life and will love you forever.

Three beautiful girls sitting in cafe

Russian Loanwords in English

Recently, a few friends-writers from social networks asked me to share about the traces of Russian culture in the English language. I think this information might also be interesting to other people, not only linguists and writers.

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Since very old times, the people, who inhabited vast territories of the present-day Russia, were known to have strong connections with other parts of the world. I am talking mainly about the ancient Kiev State and Great Novgorod. The exchange happened on different levels – in politics, trade, technology of the time, culture, and, of course, on the level of language. One of the first Russian words which came into the English language was ‘tapor-x’, which united a Russian and a Norwegian words; the word was found in handwritten manuscripts of 1031. Another English word, to talk, has the same root base with the Russian noun толк [tolk] (verb: толковать).

The words with common roots have been found in both, English and Russian languages since medieval times: sable (соболь), the old English meodu (м`д) and the more recent mead, meaning honey; the old English meolk (молоко), or milk; the old English ploz (плуг), meaning plough.

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The pre-revolutionary Russia brought the following words into the English speaking world: мужик (muzhik), изба (izba), шуба (shuba), квас (kvass), морс (morse), щи (shchi), борщ (borshch), мед (mead), калач (calach), кисель (kissel), водка (vodka), наливка (nalivka), блины (bliny), телега (telega), печь (peach), махорка (makhorka), молитва (molitva), обедня (obednia), хоровод (khorovod), указ (ukase), опричнина (opritchnina), староста (starosta), боярин (boyar), царь (tsar), артель (artel), дача (dacha), самовар (samovar), тройка (troika), дрожки (droshky), погром (pogrom), степь (steppe), тундра (tundra), тайга (taiga), суслик (suslik), борзая (borzoi).

The 70-year period of the Soviet Union state gave birth to a whole bunch of new words, which acquired completely new meanings in the given environment: apparatchik (аппаратчик, an office worker), gulag (гулаг) Soviet-time prison/camp in Siberia. The decay of the Soviet Union enriched the English language with such words as: glasnost (гласность) and perestroika (перестройка).

The words sputnik (спутника) and cosmonaut (космонавт) also came into English through Russian.

Russian tourists and immigrants have contributed the words, associated with the Russian cuisine: blini (блины), borshch (борщ), koulibiaca (кулебяка), kasha (каша), smetana (сметана), kvass (квас), pirogi (пироги), shashlik /shishkobab/ (шашлык), vodka (водка), zakuska (закуска).

Russian suffix -ник (-nik) has become quite popular in English recently, you can find it in words kapustnik (The Daily Express), flopnik (Daily Herald), pufnik (Daily Mail), stayputnik (News Chronicle) (Эпштейн М. 2003).

Today, no English speaker is surprised to hear Russian words рубль (rouble) and копейка (kopek), (interestingly, the word rouble came into English through French), балалайка (balalaika) – Russian musical instrument; казачок (kazachok) – Ukrainian and Russian popular dance; борзая (borzoi) – a Russian dog kind; белуга (a fish) and белуха (a whale) have the same name in English: beluga; the Engish babushka – is a woman wearing a cloth over her head, tied under her chin; and of coure, Russian степь (steppe), тайгa (taiga) and тундрa (tundra), and many others.

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The rest of this article may be interesting to experts in Russian culture or to writers, whose work is devoted to the Russian culture:

1. The names, related to the state organs of power and ranks of the seate service people: czar (tzar ) ‘царь ’, voivodeвоеовда ’, knesкнязь ’, bojarбоярин ’, moujikмужик ’, cossackказак ’, opritchinaопритчина ’, strelscyстрелец ’, starostaстароста, ukaseуказ, kremlinкремль ’, sotniaсотня ’, Raskolnikраскольник ’.

2. Different measurements: verstверста, arshinаршин, poodпуд, sageneсажень ’, roubleрубль, copeckкопейка, chervonetsчервонец ’.

3. Names of items of clothes, foods or household items: shubaшуба ’,kvassквас, morseморс ’,koumissкумыс ’, shchiщи, borshchборщ ’,meadмед, calashкалач ’, shashlikшашлык ’, kisselкисель ’, vodkaводка, starkaстарка, nalivkaналивка, nastoikaнастойка, blinyблины, oladyiоладьи, okroshkaокрошка ’, troikaтройка, izbaизба, telegaтелега, peach‘печь, balalaikaбалалайка ’, bayanбаян ’, samovar самовар ’, tarantassтарантас ’, droshkiдрожки ’, kibitkaкибитка ’, makhorkaмахорка ’.

4. Natural characteristics and animals: steppeстепь, tundraтундра ’, taiga ‘тайга’, poliniaполыня ’, suslikсуслик ’,borzoiборзая ’.

5. Religious words: molitvaмолитва ’, obednjaобедня’ and a few names associated with unique Rusian culture: kokoshnikкокошник ’, khorovodхоровод ’, samovarсамовар’,obrokоброк ’,zolotnikзолотник ’, otrezokотрезок, vedroведро, matrioshkaматрешка ’.

There are many more words, of course, but those listed here are the most “recognizeable” by the English speakers.

AA_babushka

How Far Should a Strong Independent Woman Go?

Despite the fact that every strong, independent woman can find happiness on her own and repeatedly states this to every next man on the “X-th” date, still, to many of us being strong and independent… sucks. I am writing these words because I have been – more than once – that friendly supportive shoulder, on which my strong independent female friends cried their eyes out in the moments of weakness. Every time this happened I could not help thinking that too much of independence does not suit the woman, while living all by herself for too long makes her feel insecure, and being strong at all times eventually makes her lose the most unique and precious thing a woman can have: her femininity. So, where is the limit? How far can a woman go in her desire to be independent and strong? Here are a few thoughts.

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The “WE CAN DO IT!” approach is not always good. Moreover, it is unnecessary.  It is the surest way to lose your femininity and to scare away even those who recently seemed to support your independent spirit. Besides, a woman who cares too much about doing things all by herself, sooner or later becomes aggressive – the quality welcomed by some employers, but not too popular in many other sides of life.

A strong independent woman and an angry lonely bitch are two VERY different women!

There are three ways to remain unhappy: do not get into that trap! The three ways look quite innocent at the first sight, they are-

  • living for the others (putting other people’s interests higher than your own);
  • living in your memories, as well as living with hopes and dreams about the better future;
  • looking for someone to blame in your mishaps.

Once you start doing this, you are certainly in trouble, because then your “independence” will turn into slavery and end in depression, at best.

To be strong, independent and happy, the woman needs to stop buiding obstacles for herself. Yes. It is that simple. Quite often, the craving for being strong and independent is just a result of fear: the fear of being unable to cope with complexities of life. So, I would put it this way: she should be strong, but not too strong; she can be independent, but her independence should not make her feel lonely.

It is okay to be a strong independent woman… until something heavy needs to be lifted.

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The best solution is to be strong, independent… and in a healthy relationship.

There is a happy medium in everything: be strong, but don’t lose what was given to you by Mother Nature – femininity, grace, tenderness and sensitivity; be independent, but don’t push away others and don’t let yourself grow angry, arrogant, or mean. And- here are a few more, the ideas I picked up from the women who manage to be independent and strong, yet happy and never lonely:

  • always remain unique, do not compare yourself to other women;
  • stand up for yourself, but do it in a wise way (you don’t always need to get aggressive);
  • truly believe in yourself;
  • learn to submit (without it, you will never become really independent);
  • be comfortable with your body and looks (no need to say that for this purpose you need to take care of your body and looks);
  • understand and respect your powers;
  • be independent financially, but do not brag too much about it;
  • stand for what you believe in;
  • know what you want, and
  • be proud of yourself.

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Russians Hate Relationship Coaching

I just ran across a Facebook post, which attracted my attention. A young woman wrote on her timeline: “An author of a book about harmony in family life shot his wife and published photos of the body on the Internet; Dale Carnegie, the author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” died in loneliness; Benjamin Spock, the author of numerous books about bringing up kids, was nearly put in a nursing home by his own sons, and a Korean bestselling author of “How to Be Happy” hanged herself of depression. In fact, this is all I know about the personal growth trainings.”

Kind of sad, isn’t it? Well, the fact is: Russians don’t like psychologists. There is no tradition of visiting counselors and advisers, like many Westerners use to do. Family issues are considered very personal, and so, they can only be trusted – if ever at all – to a closest friend. Reading books about relationships is not a traditional thing, either. Some people – mainly women – would read a book once in a while and discuss it with friends, but still, majority of the Russians make relationship decisions mainly based on intuition and on previously acquired personal experiences.

In my practice as a relationship coach, I have seen numerous couples of a Russian woman and a foreign man. The men would frequently love talking to a coach, while Russian women tend to close up and refuse from any contact with psychologists at all. So, coaching for couples is practically impossible in Russia, which makes the western men even more curious about listening to an expert in mysterious Russian character.

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What Makes Some Women so Uniquely Feminine?

The awareness of my own femininity struck me for the first time when I became a university student. After a cloudless childhood in a family of a marine scientist, where no such thing as femininity or sexuality had ever been mentioned at all, I suddenly found myself living in a student dorm and being surrounded with hundreds of absolutely awesome-looking girls, whose main goal in life (as it seemed to me) was to look

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Femininity is a skill that can and should be developed through life.

impeccable and beat the fierce competition for the three boys, who happened to be the only three male students in the whole Foreign Languages Department. As I watched how skillfully my fellow-girls could fight between each other for a time in a shower room and then immediately turn into innocent angels because a male species would turn up in the doorway, I admired their talents and thought to myself that I would never learn that science. A year later, by the beginning of my sophomore year, I caught myself practicing the “science”, too: I learned to do it so well that our male professor of phonetics (oh, he was as hot as George Clooney!) seemed to have a crush on me, which even made me the “queen of the bitches” for a while. It was the time when I realized that femininity, though probably being an inborn quality of some women, can and should be developed, fostered, fed, and never left to chance. Later, when I started working as a relationship coach, my numerous meetings with women gave me more awareness… and more confidence in my own femininity.

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A woman is not defined by the way she looks, but by the way she behaves.

I realized two things: first, that just being beautiful or knowing how to wear awesome make-up is not enough and second, as unusual as it may sound, that femininity and sexuality are quite different things. While sexuality is a quality that determines a woman’s relationship with other people, femininity is always a part of her nature, the basis of her personality, the trendsetter of her style, a substance contained in her blood. This is why a woman is not defined by the way she looks, but by the way she behaves.

I used to read many magazine articles suggesting tips about how a woman could look more feminine. Those advice were good, but to me they did not have enough value when taken just as they were. I believed that to become really feminine, a woman needed to change her whole personality. Here are a few ideas from my own diary, which I had when I was a student.

  • Learn to move gently. Avoid Arguments, work on your intonation and, of course, on your vocabulary.
  • Do not swear. Never.
  • Be cool, but don’t be baited into arguments by people who can’t respect you. Be mature enough to know when your presence is needed somewhere.
  • Soften up and speak Softly. What can be more feminine than a girl who cares about the way other people perceive her? Learn to carry yourself with dignity regardless of who you are talking to.
  • Be ready to face the fact that when you bring yourself to the level of a man, you will be treated like a man. A classy lady can always find ways to express herself with words that don’t offend others.
  • Be yourself and love yourself for who you are. Just live up to your own expectations. Remember, that all choices in life are yours: you are the one in charge of choosing which lifestyle is the right one for you, so it’s only your concern; and, of course,
  • Read, learn, grow! Take every opportunity that comes. When there is no opportunity, create one! Be persistent, but not aggressive; be strong, but not sharp; treasure harmony in everything you do, say, or think.
  • Your femininity is not defined by what you do or how you do it, it is defined by the way you relate to other people and to yourself. It reflects your attitudes to learning and developing as a mature, reasonable person. It reflects your kindness and your compassion.
  • The way you think and act will always echo back to you. For that reason, a woman should not just look feminine, she should really be supportive, positive, and loving to everyone around. Isn’t it a natural part of female nature? By showing people that she cares for them, a woman sets up the ground for what she believes in.

So, I guess, the solution is simple, yet it takes lots of effort to reach. Femininity cannot  be drawn on a woman’s face with the help of lipstick and brushes, a woman needs to work on her personality first, and then skill up with make up or take care of her hair, nails, heels and purses, because appearance only works to support our self-awareness and self-recognition, not the other way around.

Age Stereotypes in Russian Society

The FSU (Former Soviet Union) countries, though very diverse and even hostile to each other today, still bear amazingly many commonalities in lifestyles, social behavior, and mentality. One of the common traits of the former Soviet people is the tendency to stick to the old stereotypes, which were developed by previous generations and still remain unbreakable today. The age and gender stereotypes seem to be the strongest of all. Millions of the former Soviets continue to observe the rules of age-appropriate behavior in treating friends and relatives, working relations, household traditions, fashion, etiquette, general manners, and speech. Age discrimination at work is still quite common, and gender differences are not only accepted, but welcomed by both sexes.

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A very sad and, unfortunately, prevalent sign of life in all post-Soviet republics is the attitude to the older generation. People over 65 are literally thrown out of life. Very few of them take part in any social activities, their only occupation is taking care of grandchildren and doing household chores, while their children work and pursue careers. It is typical for people of this age to spend years in and around their homes; very few of them can afford to ravel, and statistically less than 1% of elderly people ever go to movie theaters, eat out, or attend any entertainment events.

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There are several explanations to this fact, such as declining health and decreased income (average monthly pension in Russia in 2016 is $200, and about $150 in Ukraine), but beyond that is the old, sticky stereotype: “Everyone else lives like this, so why wouldn’t I live this life, too?” Among average population, it is considered inappropriate for an elderly person to attended rock concerts, ride a motorbike or do a lot of sports. So, the majority does “the appropriate” stuff like spending time with grandchildren, taking care of home, jam making, knitting, or watching TV. This stereotype sits deep in people’s minds, depriving them of the fun and leisure which they deserved during the long life of hard work.

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Another area in which age stereotypes are mostly subconscious, yet strong is the way people tend to dress and look. Only certain clothes are considered appropriate for each age group. When you are in your 40s, 50s, or older, wearing make up, short skirts and shorts and youthful hairstyles may cause misunderstanding of others, so an older person will rather refuse from wearing them than risk it, because average citizens of the former Soviet world still care what other members of the society think about them.

Middle aged people have hard time finding jobs. Though any discrimination against applicants is prohibited by law, people who reached the age of 40 or even 35 are of little interest to employers. If the age requirements are not listed, the candidates over that age still have slim chances to get a job. The main reason for this is incompetence of HR managers (who are usually very young people) and lack of research that would show that companies miss out when they discriminate candidates and employees by age. Employees over 40 are experienced, mature and it is likely that they don’t have as many personal distractions as the younger workers do.

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Younger adults, especially students and recent graduates, have their own stereotypes within their age group. Though these stereotypes are erasing little by little, but still the idea of getting married before you hit 25 (mostly among women, though it is not disregarded by men, either) is commonly accepted. Many young people, even the well-educated graduates of good universities, have difficulties finding their first jobs. This also happens largely due to a common stereotype of seeing university graduates as very inexperienced people – almost children – who are not ready to enter the working relationships. As jobs are difficult to find, the large percent of young people never have any experience of working until they graduate from universities (usually at the age of 22-23). Overwhelming majority of young people enter universities right after finishing high schools, and there, during the whole time of study they depend completely on their parents, who support them financially under the only condition that they should study hard and obtain the higher education diploma.

Should the Man Escort the Woman to her Door After a Date?

I just ran across a poll with this question on one of the Russian media portals, and of course I could not help looking at the answers. The poll looked like this:

Question: Should a man escort the woman to her door (and / or pay for her taxi) after a date? (Опрос: Должен ли мужчина провожать женщину и/или оплачивать такси после свидания?)

Answers:  Yes (Да) – 591(67.2%) ; No (Нет) – 207(23.5%);  I don’t know (Не знаю) – 81(9.2%)

Total participants (Участников): 879

To be honest, my first reaction was a surprise. To me, a woman, the only correct answer to this question was obvious, it seemed funny that such a question could be raised in a poll at all. Then I glanced at the figures and found that the participants’ opinions divided to statistically significant values of 67% against 23.5%. More than two hundred people in a bit less than a thousand had an opinion different than mine! I realized that the question was probably worth thinking over.

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So, this is my – female – look at the problem:

Every woman (at least, in my culture) expects her man to finish the business he started and deliver her home at the end of the date, no matter whether the date was a success or not.

The “No”-answer responders in this poll must be men, and I understand why. After the first date, the man is not sure whether he is ready to spend all his life with this girl. He may like her a lot and enjoy spending time with her, and he would certainly do it with her.., but that would be all. So, the male logic is: what’s the sense in escorting her to her door if the future relationship her is so unclear?

Well, I still feel that the “Yes” respondents were right: the benefits are quite evident. First, it is the matter of etiquette. The date is not over until he makes sure that she is at home, happy and safe. If he does, he feels good like a gentleman who has accomplished his duty.

Secondly, hmm- what if she suddenly dashes to him at her door and lets the evening develop in its best possible way?

Thirdly, just showing her that he cares would certainly mean that this man will be welcome to call her again any time and – who knows – maybe that next date will really be a success! 

Relationships FAQ: “How can I make sure the Russian girl I am writing to is real?”

A few years ago, I received a service request from a Canadian man (let me call him Jacob here), who needed to find a local phone number or any other contact information of a Ukrainian woman, with whom he had been corresponding for nearly half a year, and who suddenly stopped writing to him. Because I am native to Russian/Ukrainian cultures and languages, it was quite obvious that I had a better potential to find that information for him. Jacob asked me to do a simple thing: send her a phone message or a postcard, saying that he was worried about her because she had stopped comunicating with him quite abruptly and without any notice.

russian-scammer-girl

I spent a few hours making calls and searching through local directories and found four women with the same name, but soon I faced a kind of a dead end, because none of them was even close in the age, occupation, or appearance to the woman I was looking for. Well, Jacob provided me with more information, which he could collect from their correspondence (my, that was not much, taking that they had been dating online on daily basis for half of a year!), and after a few more days of really Sherlock-Holmish research I managed to find information, which undoubtedly proved the fact: the woman Jacob had been corresponding with was – attention here, please – a 20-year-old MALE student of a local university’s Department of history!

No need to say, Jacob was shocked. Then he grew indignant, then – revengeful, then – depressed. There was no way to return him the wasted time, effort, and emotional loss he had gone through due to that situation. It took Jacob months to overcome the stress and I don’t think he will ever again return to the idea of dating a woman online.

I am sorry to say that Jacob’s story is not unique: it repeats in different variations quite often, despite numerous warnings from experts, related companies, and casual witnesses. How can one avoid being scammed like Jacob? What are the red lights showing that your new online friend may not be the one who he/she claims to be? Here are a few signs which I picked up through years of olnine communication:

  • your online friend tends to ask you a lot f questions, but hardly shares any facts about his/her life;
  • their information is available only in one resourse on the Internet – the one you are using, and no search provides you any proofs of the information the person has shared with you;
  • they are reluctant to share their photos: doesn’t it look odd when a beautiful woman is unwilling to share her photos? She may have some explanations why not, but still- this is quite unbelievable, isn’t it?
  • they appear and disappear online quite unexpectedly, their behavior is a bit erratic, and you never know when they will turn up online;
  • they often tell you they are very busy, so you cannot count on regular communication with them;
  • they complain a lot, it looks like their life is full of difficulties which they have to overcome on daily basis;
  • they find lots of reasons why they can’t have video (or even voice) conferences with you, they always prefer to “just type”;
  • their reasoning may sound illogical or inconsistent at times, yet you can’t get rid of a feeling that they have quite a practical look on things;
  • they never let you meet their friends or families; they try to convince you that your communication is a precious, intimate, one-on-one exchange, which they would not want to violate by anybody else’s presence;
  • after weeks (months) of communication, when you feel quite close to each other, they still don’t put much effort in trying to meet you in person;
  • they love dreaming about the beautiful future with you, but when it comes to action, you are the only one who takes every initiative.

I just realized that I could go on with the list, but I believe the above items are quite enough for a clear-headed person to suspect that their communication is a bit one-sided. Do be careful with your online communication; try not to grow emotional about anybody until you know for sure who is the real person behind that charming avatar. If you have any questions, suggestions, or stories to share, you are welcome to leave them in the comments or to contact me via the contact page on this site.

Relationship Danger Alert for Men

Like every other occupation, communicating with women has two sides: it may be most exciting and pleasant with some women, but with others it may turn out to be quite an opposite experience. Girls are beautiful, intelligent, funny… but still there are women you should avoid dating if you want to stay safe emotionally, physically, and even financially. Let us look at the most common traits of such women, which can (and should) be regarded as red flags at the very first stage of a new relationship.

1. Some women – probably the most popular type among men – can be called “gamers”, and gamers they are. Such woman will charm, seduce, and eagerly date the man, but she will never give him her heart. She is simply not a good material for a relationship, she prefers to move on from one guy to another and avoid long term affairs. A woman-gamer doesn’t care about the man’s emotions, she will turn him into her toy without doubt. Quite often, she is smart, educated, and knows very well what she is doing. The tricky part is the difficulty to identify a gamer, because she is quite experienced at fooling guys. The other thing is: she never opens up to anyone, so she won’t tell the man what kind of plans she has for him. A gamer plays her game as long as she is in the mood for playing, then she turns her back to the man and leaves. These qualities are quite common for this type of women:

  • She flirts with every guy she meets

  • She doesn’t give straight answers when asked about her dating history

  • She sends you mixed messages

  • She is charismatic, smart, and very good looking

  • She doesn’t always respond to calls/texts and often looks quite preoccupied with some of her chores, about which she speaks very little

If she flirts with a man, she is really charming, so it takes lots of effort and character not to be fooled.

05_party_girl

2. Another quite distinct type are women who love partying. They are perfect for short time flirting or having fun in a company of friends, but every talk about taking the relationship seriously scares the party girl away.
These women are simply not ready to take any serious responsibility, besides… they love partying too much! If you aren’t much of a party guy yourself, this can cause some problems down the road. It is not difficult to identify a party girl, because

  • She goes out practically every night and she always parties on weekends

  • She loves drinking, so her stories usually start with: “Oh, I got so drunk last Saturday that I…”

  • Logically, she’s frequently hung over

  • She knows every bartender in town and knows all liquor stores in quite a large radius from her home

With such a girl, the man should be prepared to deal with the side effects of her lifestyle. While intoxicated, a party girl can make decisions which could devastate even the strongest relationship. She may be very beautiful, funny, humorous, communicative; very probably, she is always provocatively dressed and flirts quite skillfully, but all of her positive traits will inevitable be negated by her love for alcohol and general levity.

3. A very well-known type of Russian women, who frequently take a fancy of dealing with dating/marriage agencies, is a so-called gold-digger. Women gold diggers will go to great lengths to find and date men with money, because their idea is to live a life of luxury without having to work for it. Gold diggers are usually very shallow and value money more than anything else. If the girl who you just met seems to be only concerned about the money you make, the relationship will go the wrong way from the very beginning. Such women are never satisfied with your gifts, attention and efforts to please them. A typical gold digger can be identified by the following behavior:

  • She expects you to pay for everything

  • She’s very disappointed when you don’t spend money on her

  • She pursues you more aggressively than you pursue her

  • She is obsessed with living a lavish lifestyle but can’t afford it

  • She is shallow and materialistic

05_psycho_girl

4. Another quite “dangerous” type of women is a so-called psycho girl. Dating them inevitably brings men to very serious challenges. Psycho girls are quite insecure, and at the same time, controlling, manipulative, and needy. Quite often, they are very selfishly motivated. If that isn’t bad enough, they’re the most difficult type of girl to break up with. If you try a serious relationship with a psycho woman and she becomes dependent on you, breaking up with her may turn into a real nightmare. She’ll kick and scream to the very end and might even make threats against you or herself. This is where things can get really dangerous for your emotional and physical well being. To identify a psycho at an early stage of acquaintance, pay attention to these little signals:

  • She calls or texts you constantly to see what you’re doing

  • She discourages you to hang out with your friends, especially other girls

  • She never seems to trust you

  • She cries or throws tantrums to get her way

  • She is emotionally unstable

Dating a psycho is a surefire way to make your life a living hell. Even if the sex is awesome, it comes at a very high price. You’ll feel like you’re on a leash and won’t have enough freedom in your life. If a girl you’re dating starts exhibiting behaviors of a psycho, consider carefully wrapping up the relationship before things get really troublesome.

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Patricia M Osborne

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