All posts for the month January, 2017

How To Melt Her Heart… and Spend No Money?

If this title made you smile, it means you know what I am talking about: while a man’s heart can easily be conquered by a tasty meal and a bit of flirting, the woman’s affinity has to be earned by numerous elaborate steps, which may be quite pricey sometimes. Is there a way for a man to touch his woman’s heart without having to hack into his budget?

It seems there is a way. Try doing the following things every day during a week or so, and I am sure you will see changes in her behavior toward you, because no woman (no matter how much she likes getting presents) can remain indifferent to these signs of care and respect:

Man Kissing Woman's Forehead

1. Create continuous feeling of togetherness with your woman by staying in touch with her during the day (text, call, or skype her during the day to ask how her day is going). Display sincere interest in matters which are important to her, and she will be very thankful to you.

2. Find a reason to praise her for something (good cooking, a nice outfit, smart communication with a neighbor – anything) and do this once a day to let her feel she just did something really well.

3. Touch, embrace, or kiss her when she does not expect this – do it tenderly, let her feel your warmth, show her that you sincerely treasure her. You don’t have to look for any reasons to do this: just come up quietly, right when she is cooking or washing dishes, touch her by her shoulders, and kiss her hair or neck – no need to say anything, no need for a response – let her see that you do this just because being around her is a pleasure for you. Repeat it daily, and by the end of the first week you will see a big change in your communication.

4. Do something nice to her when she does not expect it. It can be anything that she traditionally does by herself. Just be there before her and do it. No words needed. (As you can see, I am not talking about bringing home flowers or putting presents on her pillow. Believe me, your simple act of doing the bed or cleaning the kitchen table after breakfast will be more appreciated than the flowers.)

5. Talk. Talk about anything that you have learned during the day. Just discuss things. Casually. Share your thoughts and listen to hers. Make her feel that her thoughts and emotions are important to you.

6. Use body language. Communicate by all extra-linguistic means you can think of. Sometimes, eyes can say a lot more than words, so do your hands and your bodies. Little by little, you will develop common body language, unless you have already done so. Develop it, make it more meaningful every day, because common body language is a way to build complete trust in each other.

These simple “exercises” are directed at developing the three basic components of every strong, long-lasting relationship: mutual respect, trust, and honest communication, which we will discuss in the future articles.

What Is So Unique About Slavic Women?

During a whole decade in my past career I had to answer this question so many times that I kind of grew bored of it. But, knowing that majority of my English speaking readers are very interested in the topic, I feel bound to write about it again, this time – surprisingly to myself – with a new, revised vision. Further on in this article I will be using the term “Russian women” as a traditional, internationally accepted name for all Slavic women of Russia, Ukraine, and other former Soviet territories. Some time in the future we can talk about national differences between Slavic women, but here we will only list some common features, which make this large group of women so passionately desired by foreign men and which nurture a whole thriving industry of Russian brides’ related services.

ru_woman

Okay, first things first:

1. Russian women have been known as incredibly attractive. They are aware of this and they skillfully use beauty to their advantage. I have seen numerous popular and academic articles, providing explanations to the fact, but here, to save time, I suggest that we take this statement as an axiom.

2. Russian women do care about how they look. In addition to just knowing that they are beautiful, they invest time into being beautiful, and they do this all their life long, which develops a certain mindset: they self-develop, self-observe, self-study, self-educate… whatever you call it, the fact is: each Russian woman develops through time, because she cares about how other people see her. Good or bad, this is a fact.

3. Russian women value their femininity, but at the same time, they don’t care for feminism. This paradox can be easily explained: during the Soviet era Russian women were considered 100% equal with men (they were called “tovarisch” (comrade), there were no gender-specific terms, fashion used to be nearly prohibited during the epoch of the USSR, using makeup and being fashionable was nearly equaled to deliberate destruction of socialist morals, etc.), so Russian women had more than enough of it. They were happy when in the early 1990s the Russian society bounced back to “traditional family values” of pre-communist times.

4. Russian (and especially Ukrainian) women are very family oriented. Every woman realizes that she can only be happy when there is a man by her side. They are ready to sacrifice time, energy, and everything they have into building a family. Many of them are open to going out with older men because older men are more serious about family values than skinny young lads, whose only interests are fun, drinking, and sex. Also, Russian women know how to be polite, intelligent, humorous, or nice: again, all these are parts of their family-building “program”.

5. Due to their cultural and historical roots, most of Russian women are very entrepreneurial; each Russian woman is open to building a career, traveling, fulfilling all sorts of her dreams along with being married and having kids.

6. A good news for men is the fact that Russian brides allow men to court them and even more: they like it. She will not be insulted if you open a door in front of her or give her a hand, on the opposite: she expects you to do this. It seems natural for her to accept men’s help and attention, so she wants you to court her, protect her, spoil her, and take care of her. She knows the fact: a man will never truly appreciate a woman he did not invest in, so she gives you a chance to feel masculine and all-mighty in front of her.

7. One more distinctive feature, which is true practically of all Rusian women is their attitude to their families: they put family first above everything else. Don’t ever talk smack about her relatives. If you behave smartly, you will get the same treatment someday, too.

8. Russian women are quite straightforward and are not afraid to vocalize their thoughts. This is a good thing is a relationship: it creates the necessary openness in communication.

9. Russian women are ready to struggle for their happiness: whatever her personal image of happiness is, she will protect it and pursue it like a real warrior, until she gets what the wants.

10. This is an interesting observation about Russians and Ukrainians: if you become a part of her family, her parents will probably care more about you than your own family. Yes, this is true.

11. Most of Russian girls – even the youngest of them – are very smart. A Russian girl is raised to think, act, and live independently. If she wants nice clothes, jewelry, a good bookshelf, and a cozy home, she knows she will have to earn the money to buy those things herself, and that means getting education and job, and then working hard until she gets what she desires.

12. Many Russian women are a tireless hustlers, they know how to work hard, and they are adventurous enough to play hard.

13. Many Russian women are dreamers, and they remain dreamers till the end of their lives. A good dream, when turned into a plan, makes her happy, and even just dreaming of the better future keeps her depression away. Many women are known for being very positive in their approach towards life. She will wear a smile even in the worst situations, just to show her partners and family that everything is good.

We could possibly find more distinguishing features, and if you do, you are welcome to share your thoughts in the comments below. Any discussion of the topic is highly appreciated, because it can lead us all to very exciting ideas and conclusions.

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by Iryna Tymchenko on January 9, 2017 • Permalink

Posted in Blog

Tagged #Rina Tim, #Rina Tim's blog, #Rina's blog, #Russian women, #writing, Relationships

Posted by Iryna Tymchenko on January 9, 2017

https://rinatim.com/2017/01/09/what-is-so-unique-about-slavic-women/

Romantic Relationship Howto: The Very First Steps

By this article I am opening a series of posts about relationships – the topic which I have been studying for decades now. Having spent many years assisting the westerners in their trips to the Russian speaking world, I have seen hundreds of couples set up and develop romantic relationships. Some of those stories were so captivating that I still keep rolling them over in my memory now and then. Now, I am glad to share my observations, they might be beneficial to the new venturers, whose tribe does not seem to dry out with time.

Alright, to begin with, let us see what precedes a relationship and what are the first steps one should take before plunging into the world of soul-mate search.

1. Prepare yourself. This sounds a bit too indubitable to even mention it here, but in practical life many people behave impulsively, without bothering themselves to decide what they really want to achieve in the end. The word “romantic”, however, does not mean “spontaneous” or “completely out of control”, so you will need to focus even here. To prepare yourself for a romantic relationship, you need to simply open a beer and (slowly and honestly) go down the following checklist:

Define in one word what you want to obtain from your romantic relationship (Just one word! No paltering with yourself, okay? Just one word: is it “tenderness”, or “sex”, or “togetherness”, “time-killing”, or “adventure”? Don’t hurry, think well, your beer bottle is still nearly full);
Make sure you are entering the relationship with open mind and clear heart, you are not doing this as a revenge to your ex; you are not doing this because all of your friends are doing this; you are doing this for yourself. You should be very independent in your commitment this time;
Decide how much time you will need every day (every week) to proceed with your “relationship project”. It is good not to change your time habits in favor of the relationship. This is important because if it suddenly takes too much of your time, the situation will sooner or later go out of your control and the whole “project” will fail. (Yes, it is absolutely right to be business-like even in such thing as romance, not to mention that your women will love it);
Select an approach. Would you like an online romance or a real-time one? How will you do it in the very beginning? Are you about to try some previously developed first meeting “tricks” or would you rather try something new? Just think it over, slowly and calmly. Take another beer, if needed.
Make sure you understand yourself, sexually and emotionally. Just sort it out in your mind before you begin meeting someone.
Try to avoid any labels and avoid comparing. There is no need to compare the new relationship with any of your past experiences, it will anyway be different from anything you have known before.

man-drinking-beer2

2. You’ll need to be bold. As a Russian saying goes, Лучше сделать и жалеть, чем не сделать и жалеть (You’d better do something and regret it than not do it and regret it anyway.) Whatever you do, be yourself and never compromise your values and opinions.

3. You’ll need to be careful with such a thing as compromise. They say, compromising is good, but if you start to give in on issues early on, it sets a bad precedent for future dealings, so you’d better stay alert.

4. Also, it is good to find out about your romantic partner’s boundaries and let her know yours. During one of the first meetings, share casually about your likes and dislikes. I mean, if she or you are uncomfortable with hand-holding, public touching or anything else that may create an upsetting moment, just make sure that you are both aware of this.

5. Try to be objective with yourself and your partner; there is no need in pretending that your relationship is something more than it really is.

Well, these are very simple, general and seemingly obvious tips, but I have seen so many people who ignored them, and this caused complications at the early stages of relationships. Well, anyway, a bit of planning is not going to harm you. I hope these little tips will help.

The Faster Millennials Breed, the Less the Book Authors Eat…

reading-2

There is an interesting paradox: in the new millennium, again, like in good old days, reading has become a privilege of a few. Centuries ago, the main obstacle to reading was mass illiteracy, so authors knew that their writing could only be appreciated by a thin social group of well educated and relatively wealthy. Today, when everyone can be a potential reader, the authors are facing a problem again: the short era of mass, unlimited reading is over: the millennial generation lacks time. By a trick of fate, the only shortcoming of reading – the fact that it is quite time-consuming – seems to negate all of its precious powers, because in our crazy world time has become the most valuable asset of all.

A good novel takes days (sometimes weeks) to read, while a good movie is visual and fast: a movie “retells” you the longest book in as little as an hour or two, so books can no longer compete with such means of information transfer as television, movies, computer games, or the Internet, which altogether have turned the process of reading into nothing more than a careless time killer. With all the technologies available today, I am surprised that books still remain in vogue at all.

All in all, the authors of new books have to face it: the niche is rapidly thinning. Within a decade or so, reading is going to turn into a special treat, or hobby, appreciated only by the extravagant few, like listening to vinyl records or taking pictures on a film camera.

What does it mean to authors then? I guess two thirds of all authors will be kicked out of business in the nearest few years, while the quality standards for writing will soar up higher and higher.

An opponent might suggest that reading is good for our mind, it develops emotions and feeds our soul, it is undeniably healthier than anything else the technologies can offer… Yes, of course, this is true. Still, the tendency is quite clear: in the 21-st century, reading has become an unaffordable luxury, and the process is only beginning to develop.

With all this in mind, every new author should be realistic and not put all eggs in one basket: making a living by just writing books is hardly a good idea today. Even the most captivating novel may fail to attract the desired number of readers, simply because of the fact: most of them realize that they will never have time to read it.