How Far Should a Strong Independent Woman Go?

Despite the fact that every strong, independent woman can find happiness on her own and repeatedly states this to every next man on the “X-th” date, still, to many of us being strong and independent… sucks. I am writing these words because I have been – more than once – that friendly supportive shoulder, on which my strong independent female friends cried their eyes out in the moments of weakness. Every time this happened I could not help thinking that too much of independence does not suit the woman, while living all by herself for too long makes her feel insecure, and being strong at all times eventually makes her lose the most unique and precious thing a woman can have: her femininity. So, where is the limit? How far can a woman go in her desire to be independent and strong? Here are a few thoughts.


The “WE CAN DO IT!” approach is not always good. Moreover, it is unnecessary.  It is the surest way to lose your femininity and to scare away even those who recently seemed to support your independent spirit. Besides, a woman who cares too much about doing things all by herself, sooner or later becomes aggressive – the quality welcomed by some employers, but not too popular in many other sides of life.

A strong independent woman and an angry lonely bitch are two VERY different women!

There are three ways to remain unhappy: do not get into that trap! The three ways look quite innocent at the first sight, they are-

  • living for the others (putting other people’s interests higher than your own);
  • living in your memories, as well as living with hopes and dreams about the better future;
  • looking for someone to blame in your mishaps.

Once you start doing this, you are certainly in trouble, because then your “independence” will turn into slavery and end in depression, at best.

To be strong, independent and happy, the woman needs to stop buiding obstacles for herself. Yes. It is that simple. Quite often, the craving for being strong and independent is just a result of fear: the fear of being unable to cope with complexities of life. So, I would put it this way: she should be strong, but not too strong; she can be independent, but her independence should not make her feel lonely.

It is okay to be a strong independent woman… until something heavy needs to be lifted.


The best solution is to be strong, independent… and in a healthy relationship.

There is a happy medium in everything: be strong, but don’t lose what was given to you by Mother Nature – femininity, grace, tenderness and sensitivity; be independent, but don’t push away others and don’t let yourself grow angry, arrogant, or mean. And- here are a few more, the ideas I picked up from the women who manage to be independent and strong, yet happy and never lonely:

  • always remain unique, do not compare yourself to other women;
  • stand up for yourself, but do it in a wise way (you don’t always need to get aggressive);
  • truly believe in yourself;
  • learn to submit (without it, you will never become really independent);
  • be comfortable with your body and looks (no need to say that for this purpose you need to take care of your body and looks);
  • understand and respect your powers;
  • be independent financially, but do not brag too much about it;
  • stand for what you believe in;
  • know what you want, and
  • be proud of yourself.


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1 Comment

  1. Great one, Rina. Loved reading it.



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