Love, Sex, Trust… What Comes First for a Slavic Woman?

This question often comes up when I talk to foreign men about Russian/Ukrainian traditions and family life. Interestingly, the westerners and the Slavic people’s traditional approaches to dating are strikingly different, especially if we look at relationships between the western men and Slavic women.

To majority of Slavic women, love (or deep affection) comes first. It is the first necessary condition for a serious relationship with a man. If a woman does not feel that discomforting, burning excitement deep inside her chest, she will never open up to the man, and very soon he will find himself in her “friend zone”. Forever.

Trust is another condition, which usually precedes a woman’s decisions about moving on toward a more physical stage in the relationship. To a Slavic woman, even in the 21-st century, a sexual relationship is the highest stage of intimacy, which is only possible when her love and trust to a man is complete and unconditional. This is why it often takes months before a man and a woman move on to a “physical” relationship.


Relationship Tips: How to make your woman think warmly about you all day?

Young Fashion Woman on Autumn Background

Well, the answer to this one seems simple: comfort her, physically and emotionally.

If you want her to remember you again and again during the day, it makes sense to impress her with something in the morning, so she can carry her good memory of the morning with her, wherever she goes during the day. It would be a good idea to let her have something that she can keep with her to remind about you during the day.

Here are a few ideas:

– Set her favorite melody on her phone so she can hear it when she receives calls or messages (I hope it goes without saying that in some cases this would not be a good idea, if, for example, she dislikes speaking on the phone at all).

– if she usually takes lunches to work, make it for her, put in a short note for her, pack it nicely, and let her take it to her office (again, if you have been in a relationship for a while, you know her particular do’s and don’ts, so you won’t make a mistake with that lunch!).

– make her a little gift – a trinket, a small figurine to put on her working table, a pen holder – whatever you can think of, and give it to her at a very nice, tender moment, so she can associate it with your intimate relationship. Then, every time her eye falls on this little gift, she will remember you.

– buy her a pass for a beauty salon (a gym, a master class which she’d mentioned – think of anything that had been discussing or mentioned) or just get her a gift card to her favorite store and put it into her bag in an envelope which would also have a short love note from you). It will be especially pleasant to her if you do this in the morning after a great night together, or simply if you do it without a special reason, when she absolutely does not expect any gifts. She will be thrilled, I promise.

– another good idea of a present is a shawl or a kerchief – some item which she can take to her office and keep it there in case she needs to cover her shoulders.

– You can, of course, make her a bigger present – a good phone, a tablet, a laptop, or any other gadget which she will need to use every day, so it will always be with her. Remember, though, that if you want this item to associate with you in her mind, you need to build that mind connection for her. Think over the moment of giving her this gift and make sure this moment is romantic, tender, and causes her only pleasant emotions.

All these ideas go down to thinking over and preparing a nice surprise for her. If you know your woman well enough, you will come up with the right idea, no doubt. Surprise her with your tenderness, attention, and care, not the money. Women adore this. She will appreciate this, I am sure.

What Is So Unique About Slavic Women?

During a whole decade in my past career I had to answer this question so many times that I kind of grew bored of it. But, knowing that majority of my English speaking readers are very interested in the topic, I feel bound to write about it again, this time – surprisingly to myself – with a new, revised vision. Further on in this article I will be using the term “Russian women” as a traditional, internationally accepted name for all Slavic women of Russia, Ukraine, and other former Soviet territories. Some time in the future we can talk about national differences between Slavic women, but here we will only list some common features, which make this large group of women so passionately desired by foreign men and which nurture a whole thriving industry of Russian brides’ related services.


Okay, first things first:

1. Russian women have been known as incredibly attractive. They are aware of this and they skillfully use beauty to their advantage. I have seen numerous popular and academic articles, providing explanations to the fact, but here, to save time, I suggest that we take this statement as an axiom.

2. Russian women do care about how they look. In addition to just knowing that they are beautiful, they invest time into being beautiful, and they do this all their life long, which develops a certain mindset: they self-develop, self-observe, self-study, self-educate… whatever you call it, the fact is: each Russian woman develops through time, because she cares about how other people see her. Good or bad, this is a fact.

3. Russian women value their femininity, but at the same time, they don’t care for feminism. This paradox can be easily explained: during the Soviet era Russian women were considered 100% equal with men (they were called “tovarisch” (comrade), there were no gender-specific terms, fashion used to be nearly prohibited during the epoch of the USSR, using makeup and being fashionable was nearly equaled to deliberate destruction of socialist morals, etc.), so Russian women had more than enough of it. They were happy when in the early 1990s the Russian society bounced back to “traditional family values” of pre-communist times.

4. Russian (and especially Ukrainian) women are very family oriented. Every woman realizes that she can only be happy when there is a man by her side. They are ready to sacrifice time, energy, and everything they have into building a family. Many of them are open to going out with older men because older men are more serious about family values than skinny young lads, whose only interests are fun, drinking, and sex. Also, Russian women know how to be polite, intelligent, humorous, or nice: again, all these are parts of their family-building “program”.

5. Due to their cultural and historical roots, most of Russian women are very entrepreneurial; each Russian woman is open to building a career, traveling, fulfilling all sorts of her dreams along with being married and having kids.

6. A good news for men is the fact that Russian brides allow men to court them and even more: they like it. She will not be insulted if you open a door in front of her or give her a hand, on the opposite: she expects you to do this. It seems natural for her to accept men’s help and attention, so she wants you to court her, protect her, spoil her, and take care of her. She knows the fact: a man will never truly appreciate a woman he did not invest in, so she gives you a chance to feel masculine and all-mighty in front of her.

7. One more distinctive feature, which is true practically of all Rusian women is their attitude to their families: they put family first above everything else. Don’t ever talk smack about her relatives. If you behave smartly, you will get the same treatment someday, too.

8. Russian women are quite straightforward and are not afraid to vocalize their thoughts. This is a good thing is a relationship: it creates the necessary openness in communication.

9. Russian women are ready to struggle for their happiness: whatever her personal image of happiness is, she will protect it and pursue it like a real warrior, until she gets what the wants.

10. This is an interesting observation about Russians and Ukrainians: if you become a part of her family, her parents will probably care more about you than your own family. Yes, this is true.

11. Most of Russian girls – even the youngest of them – are very smart. A Russian girl is raised to think, act, and live independently. If she wants nice clothes, jewelry, a good bookshelf, and a cozy home, she knows she will have to earn the money to buy those things herself, and that means getting education and job, and then working hard until she gets what she desires.

12. Many Russian women are a tireless hustlers, they know how to work hard, and they are adventurous enough to play hard.

13. Many Russian women are dreamers, and they remain dreamers till the end of their lives. A good dream, when turned into a plan, makes her happy, and even just dreaming of the better future keeps her depression away. Many women are known for being very positive in their approach towards life. She will wear a smile even in the worst situations, just to show her partners and family that everything is good.

We could possibly find more distinguishing features, and if you do, you are welcome to share your thoughts in the comments below. Any discussion of the topic is highly appreciated, because it can lead us all to very exciting ideas and conclusions.

Romantic Russian Phrase Book available now!

Finally, my Romantic Russian Phrase Book is out on the book shelves waiting to be taken to Russian speaking countries by adventurous travelers who need to know a few words of Russian on their trips. You are welcome to look it up at

or in electronic version, at

You are welcome to contact me and ask any related questions. Enjoy!


  • Follow Share love. Educate. Inspire. on
  • New: English for Your Job Interview

  • Follow me on Twitter

  • An Interview

  • Recent: Romantic English Phrasebook

  • Recent: Romantic Russian Phrase Book

  • Rina’s Short Story

  • Languages & Lifestyles

  • Archives

  • Goodreads

  • 101 Books

  • Writing

  • Blogs I Follow

Shelf Love

live mines and duds: the reading life

Picks & Reads

nonfiction book blog | librocubicularist | tsundoku | scrivener