How Effective Are the Self-Study Courses of English?

Насколько эффективны аудио и видео курсы английского для самостоятельного обучения?

Сегодня полки книжных магазинов, а пуще того – образовательные сайты, соц сети и торренты переполнены предложениями красочных, хорошо продуманных и адаптированных к конкретным нуждам пользователей курсов иностранных языков, включающих в себя полный набор материалов: книги, аудио диски и видео. Выбор действительно богат, особенно если вас интересует изучение английского – самого популярного в мире языка.

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Вы можете отыскать специальные пособия, ориентированные на изучение, например, бизнес-лексики или языка дипломатического общения, или просто учебники разговорного языка, или справочники для туристов и путешественников. Занятия по таким учебникам обычно весьма увлекательны, потому что вы можете почитать, послушать и посмотреть материалы на определённую тему и многие слова запомнятся довольно быстро. Такие курсы великолепны, например, для молодых мам, которые каждый день час-другой гудяют с колясками по парку, или для тех, чья работа позволяет, надев наушники, уйти в себя во время рабочего дня и погрузиться в обучение. Хороши эти курсы также для очень орнанизованных, последовательных людей, кому характер позволяет установить для себя рутинное действие и повторять его ежедневно, как говорится, без выходных и перерывов.

Однако, ни в одном из этих случаев учащийся не может рассчитывать, что изучит язык самостоятельно настолько хорошо, чтобы использовать его в общении с носителями языка. Как бы ни были хороши предлагаемые нам курсы, все они могут претендовать только на почётное звание “дополнительных материалов”, потому что им не достаёт всего одного, но, к сожалению, главного элемента: живого общения. Мне приходится повторять это множество раз, пытаясь уберечь людей от самообмана:

Иностранный язык можно усвоить ТОЛЬКО путём общения

с теми, кто им владеет или для кого он является родным.

Поэтому любые курсы, снабжённые аудио и видео материалами, можно расценивать как замечатеьное и очень эффективное… дополнение к общению, которое вам необходисо организовать с преподавателями или с носителями языка. Ведь вы изучаете язык для того, чтобы общаться на нём, так? Так. А значит, нужно отставить в сторону боязнь ошибок и прочие предрассудки и первым делом отыскать того (или тех), кто станет общаться с вами на языке на регулярной основе. И общаться: общаться взахлёб. И когда это случится, то и купленные вами медиа-курсы станут усваиваться совершенно по-новому: быстро и эффективно. 

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About Russian Friendly Hugs, Kisses and Holding Hands While Walking

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This is a little quick post about traditional Russian kissing, hugging, and holding hands in public, which is especially popular among young women-friends. Unlike many may think, these apparent signs of appreciation to each other are nothing more than expressions of very friendly disposition. While many western cultures would “read” this behavior as unmistakable signs of involvement into intimate relationship, in the Slavic cultures this is nothing more than an open display of very close friendship. Many young people kiss at meeting and when saying bye to each other, especially when they are old school buddies or student mates. Friendly kissing and hugging is not uncommon between opposite sexes, too.

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The Russian manner of walking hand in hand, when the man holds his lady “by the elbow” is well known in many cities around the world. Again, it does not mean that the two people have intimate relations – this is only a friendly stroll, that’s all! Friends of any age, even very elderly people, can be seen walking this way.

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On meeting, the Russians often hug each other, and sometimes even kiss. They do not do this like the French, who “symbolically” kiss the air around each other’s cheeks, the Russian kiss is quite real. Optionally, there may be a three-fold kiss, quite noisy and “physical”. Any kind of touching, hugging, or patting each other’s backs or shoulders is quite popular, both among men and women. In the Russian culture, a good touch is the best way to express your friendly and trustful disposition.

 

 

Age Stereotypes in Russian Society

The FSU (Former Soviet Union) countries, though very diverse and even hostile to each other today, still bear amazingly many commonalities in lifestyles, social behavior, and mentality. One of the common traits of the former Soviet people is the tendency to stick to the old stereotypes, which were developed by previous generations and still remain unbreakable today. The age and gender stereotypes seem to be the strongest of all. Millions of the former Soviets continue to observe the rules of age-appropriate behavior in treating friends and relatives, working relations, household traditions, fashion, etiquette, general manners, and speech. Age discrimination at work is still quite common, and gender differences are not only accepted, but welcomed by both sexes.

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A very sad and, unfortunately, prevalent sign of life in all post-Soviet republics is the attitude to the older generation. People over 65 are literally thrown out of life. Very few of them take part in any social activities, their only occupation is taking care of grandchildren and doing household chores, while their children work and pursue careers. It is typical for people of this age to spend years in and around their homes; very few of them can afford to ravel, and statistically less than 1% of elderly people ever go to movie theaters, eat out, or attend any entertainment events.

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There are several explanations to this fact, such as declining health and decreased income (average monthly pension in Russia in 2016 is $200, and about $150 in Ukraine), but beyond that is the old, sticky stereotype: “Everyone else lives like this, so why wouldn’t I live this life, too?” Among average population, it is considered inappropriate for an elderly person to attended rock concerts, ride a motorbike or do a lot of sports. So, the majority does “the appropriate” stuff like spending time with grandchildren, taking care of home, jam making, knitting, or watching TV. This stereotype sits deep in people’s minds, depriving them of the fun and leisure which they deserved during the long life of hard work.

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Another area in which age stereotypes are mostly subconscious, yet strong is the way people tend to dress and look. Only certain clothes are considered appropriate for each age group. When you are in your 40s, 50s, or older, wearing make up, short skirts and shorts and youthful hairstyles may cause misunderstanding of others, so an older person will rather refuse from wearing them than risk it, because average citizens of the former Soviet world still care what other members of the society think about them.

Middle aged people have hard time finding jobs. Though any discrimination against applicants is prohibited by law, people who reached the age of 40 or even 35 are of little interest to employers. If the age requirements are not listed, the candidates over that age still have slim chances to get a job. The main reason for this is incompetence of HR managers (who are usually very young people) and lack of research that would show that companies miss out when they discriminate candidates and employees by age. Employees over 40 are experienced, mature and it is likely that they don’t have as many personal distractions as the younger workers do.

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Younger adults, especially students and recent graduates, have their own stereotypes within their age group. Though these stereotypes are erasing little by little, but still the idea of getting married before you hit 25 (mostly among women, though it is not disregarded by men, either) is commonly accepted. Many young people, even the well-educated graduates of good universities, have difficulties finding their first jobs. This also happens largely due to a common stereotype of seeing university graduates as very inexperienced people – almost children – who are not ready to enter the working relationships. As jobs are difficult to find, the large percent of young people never have any experience of working until they graduate from universities (usually at the age of 22-23). Overwhelming majority of young people enter universities right after finishing high schools, and there, during the whole time of study they depend completely on their parents, who support them financially under the only condition that they should study hard and obtain the higher education diploma.

Should the Man Escort the Woman to her Door After a Date?

I just ran across a poll with this question on one of the Russian media portals, and of course I could not help looking at the answers. The poll looked like this:

Question: Should a man escort the woman to her door (and / or pay for her taxi) after a date? (Опрос: Должен ли мужчина провожать женщину и/или оплачивать такси после свидания?)

Answers:  Yes (Да) – 591(67.2%) ; No (Нет) – 207(23.5%);  I don’t know (Не знаю) – 81(9.2%)

Total participants (Участников): 879

To be honest, my first reaction was a surprise. To me, a woman, the only correct answer to this question was obvious, it seemed funny that such a question could be raised in a poll at all. Then I glanced at the figures and found that the participants’ opinions divided to statistically significant values of 67% against 23.5%. More than two hundred people in a bit less than a thousand had an opinion different than mine! I realized that the question was probably worth thinking over.

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So, this is my – female – look at the problem:

Every woman (at least, in my culture) expects her man to finish the business he started and deliver her home at the end of the date, no matter whether the date was a success or not.

The “No”-answer responders in this poll must be men, and I understand why. After the first date, the man is not sure whether he is ready to spend all his life with this girl. He may like her a lot and enjoy spending time with her, and he would certainly do it with her.., but that would be all. So, the male logic is: what’s the sense in escorting her to her door if the future relationship her is so unclear?

Well, I still feel that the “Yes” respondents were right: the benefits are quite evident. First, it is the matter of etiquette. The date is not over until he makes sure that she is at home, happy and safe. If he does, he feels good like a gentleman who has accomplished his duty.

Secondly, hmm- what if she suddenly dashes to him at her door and lets the evening develop in its best possible way?

Thirdly, just showing her that he cares would certainly mean that this man will be welcome to call her again any time and – who knows – maybe that next date will really be a success! 

Breaking Myths: Is it Possible to Learn English in a Few Weeks?

Возможно ли выучить английский за несколько недель?

Начну ответ со встречного вопроса: как быстро и каким образом вы усвоили родной язык? Давайте порассуждаем: человек усваивает родной язык на протяжении нескольких лет и только на 4-м году жизни среднестатистический ребёнок начинает связно разговаривать, хотя и вдальнейшем продолжает делать ошибки, искажать слова и нарушать традиционные нормы речи. Более того, все мы знаем, что если с ребёнком не общаться ежедневно и полноценно, то он не заговорит вовсе: ему необходимо непрерывно слышать язык, учиться строить высказывания самостоятельно и получать непрерывную реакцию окружающих на его слова. Это – необходимые условия любого процесса коммуникации, потому что изучение языка происходит путём усвоения языкового опыта, а оно возможно только (!) в практике общения.

Любой человеческий язык, в том числе и английский, усваивается в процессе многих часов говорения (это специальный термин у филологов). Учащемуся недостаточно слышать речь других или читать на иностранном языке (эдак можно потратить десятилетия, изучая язык, но так и не научиться на нём говорить; таких примеров, кстати, в нашей стране множество, особенно среди людей старшего поколения). Любой, кому важен результат обучения, должен тратить 90% учебного времени на попытки высказывать свои мысли (с ошибками или без – это не важно, главное – пытаться говорить).  Исходя из этого, можно смело построить математическую зависимость:

владение иностранным языком прямо пропорционально количеству времени, затраченному на говорение на этом языке.

Без сотен часов эффективного говорения на языке усвоить его невозможно. Поэтому рекламные объявления типа: “АНГЛИЙСКИЙ ЗА 5 НЕДЕЛЬ!” или даже “АНГЛИЙСКИЙ ДО АВТОМАТИЗМА ЗА 15 НЕДЕЛЬ!” – это откровенное враньё. Согласна, что можно научиться произносить определённые фразы и за 15 недель довести их использование до автоматизма. Но это – задача для владельцев попугаев, а не для изучающих язык с целью дальнейшего эффективного общения.

Научиться говорить на языке можно только общаясь на нём с теми, кто им уже владеет.

Поэтому всякий, кому предстоит изучение иностранного языка, планируя свои занятия, должен учитывать следующие условия:

  • Выбирая преподавателя, убедитесь, что он предложит вам обучение через общение (они часто называют это занятиями по коммуникативной методике). Спросите напрямую, как ваш преподаватель намерен распределять учебное время и ожидайте услышать ответ, что 90% времени будет посвящено  именно говорению (речевой практике), независимо от вашего уровня знаний. В случае с английским вы сможете строить примитивные высказывания уже на первом занятии, даже если никогда ранее не изучали его.
  • Преподаватель, который кормит вас обещаниями, что вы овладеете языком за несколько недель, скорее всего сам не верит в то, что говорит. За такой срок можно овладеть некоторым объёмом фраз и научиться использовать их в различны житейских ситуациях (и это, кстати, неплохое начало), а серьёзное владение языком требует многомесячной и даже многолетней практики ежедневного общения.
  • Лучше не доверяться преподавателю, который не спросит вас о конечной цели обучения. Все современные преподаватели, которые хорошо знают своё дело, обязательно разрабатывают учебную программу занятий для конкретного учащегося, принимая во внимание его непосредственную цель обучения, чтобы не “загружать” его информацией, которая в его случае является второстепенной.
  • Иностранный язык невозможно изучить отдельно от культуры, потому что он по сути является отражением культуры и мышления народа, который на нём говорит. Организуйте свою жизнь так, чтобы вы каждый день были “окружены” языком и его культурой. Слава богу, при нынешних технологиях это доступно каждому, надо только захотеть.
  • Запаситесь терпением. Изучение нового языка (во взрослом возрасте) – это всегда труд. Системность, регулярность, непрерывность: вот слова, которые должны стать главными характеристиками вашего обучения.
  • Старайтесь никогда не заниматься “через силу”. Обучение не должно быть наказанием. Наоборот, старайтесь не терять мотивации и настроиться на то, что скоро вам станет так же легко выражать мысли по-английски, как вы делаете это на родном языке.

Итак, ответ твёрд и беспощаден: овладеть английским за несколько недель невозможно. Можно, однако, взять хороший старт, если организовать своё время так, чтобы вы имели возможность говорить на языке (пусть на самом примитивном уровне) регулярно.

 

Relationships FAQ: “How can I make sure the Russian girl I am writing to is real?”

A few years ago, I received a service request from a Canadian man (let me call him Jacob here), who needed to find a local phone number or any other contact information of a Ukrainian woman, with whom he had been corresponding for nearly half a year, and who suddenly stopped writing to him. Because I am native to Russian/Ukrainian cultures and languages, it was quite obvious that I had a better potential to find that information for him. Jacob asked me to do a simple thing: send her a phone message or a postcard, saying that he was worried about her because she had stopped comunicating with him quite abruptly and without any notice.

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I spent a few hours making calls and searching through local directories and found four women with the same name, but soon I faced a kind of a dead end, because none of them was even close in the age, occupation, or appearance to the woman I was looking for. Well, Jacob provided me with more information, which he could collect from their correspondence (my, that was not much, taking that they had been dating online on daily basis for half of a year!), and after a few more days of really Sherlock-Holmish research I managed to find information, which undoubtedly proved the fact: the woman Jacob had been corresponding with was – attention here, please – a 20-year-old MALE student of a local university’s Department of history!

No need to say, Jacob was shocked. Then he grew indignant, then – revengeful, then – depressed. There was no way to return him the wasted time, effort, and emotional loss he had gone through due to that situation. It took Jacob months to overcome the stress and I don’t think he will ever again return to the idea of dating a woman online.

I am sorry to say that Jacob’s story is not unique: it repeats in different variations quite often, despite numerous warnings from experts, related companies, and casual witnesses. How can one avoid being scammed like Jacob? What are the red lights showing that your new online friend may not be the one who he/she claims to be? Here are a few signs which I picked up through years of olnine communication:

  • your online friend tends to ask you a lot f questions, but hardly shares any facts about his/her life;
  • their information is available only in one resourse on the Internet – the one you are using, and no search provides you any proofs of the information the person has shared with you;
  • they are reluctant to share their photos: doesn’t it look odd when a beautiful woman is unwilling to share her photos? She may have some explanations why not, but still- this is quite unbelievable, isn’t it?
  • they appear and disappear online quite unexpectedly, their behavior is a bit erratic, and you never know when they will turn up online;
  • they often tell you they are very busy, so you cannot count on regular communication with them;
  • they complain a lot, it looks like their life is full of difficulties which they have to overcome on daily basis;
  • they find lots of reasons why they can’t have video (or even voice) conferences with you, they always prefer to “just type”;
  • their reasoning may sound illogical or inconsistent at times, yet you can’t get rid of a feeling that they have quite a practical look on things;
  • they never let you meet their friends or families; they try to convince you that your communication is a precious, intimate, one-on-one exchange, which they would not want to violate by anybody else’s presence;
  • after weeks (months) of communication, when you feel quite close to each other, they still don’t put much effort in trying to meet you in person;
  • they love dreaming about the beautiful future with you, but when it comes to action, you are the only one who takes every initiative.

I just realized that I could go on with the list, but I believe the above items are quite enough for a clear-headed person to suspect that their communication is a bit one-sided. Do be careful with your online communication; try not to grow emotional about anybody until you know for sure who is the real person behind that charming avatar. If you have any questions, suggestions, or stories to share, you are welcome to leave them in the comments or to contact me via the contact page on this site.

Great Thinkers Also Excel at Dumb Things. Why?

Wisdom does not guarantee us from silly behavior, it is a fact. Take Albert Einstein, Leo Tolstoy, Fyodor Dostoevsky, or any other great mind of the world, read their biographies and you’ll see what I mean. I think I know a few reasons why the most outstanding minds of the world tend to err as badly as they excel in explaining the complexities of this world.

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  • The greatest thinkers tend to overthink things, and therefore, they overreact in social situations. The smartest people have the tendency to complicate everything in their mind, because they expect things to be complex.
  • The smartest people are often a bit too confident (not without reason, of course), and knowing that you are always right is tricky, because eventually you will lose the ability to question your own conclusions, while self-criticism is an inseparable part of general critical thinking ability, which helps continuously develop one’s mind.
  • Another thing is the lack of so-called emotional intelligence. Great thinkers often fail to understand, or simply ignore, other people’s emotions, while emotional intelligence is the greatest social skill. It is easy to make fool of yourself if you try to ignore common social habits or traditions.
  • Quite often, great thinkers lack practical skills, which are necessary in social life. The greatest thinkers are often weak at simple practical tasks, which makes them quite vulnerable in thr eyes of ordinary people.

Just a few facts to think over:

Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four and did not read until he was seven, causing his teachers and parents to think he was mentally handicapped, slow and anti-social. Eventually, he was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School.

Isaac Newton was undoubtedly a genius when it came to math, but he had some failings early on. He never did particularly well in school and when put in charge of running the family farm, he failed miserably, so poorly in fact that an uncle took charge and sent him off to Cambridge where he finally blossomed into the scholar we know today.

Winston Churchill struggled in school and failed the sixth grade. After school he faced many years of political failures, as he was defeated in every election for public office until he finally became the Prime Minister at the ripe old age of 62.

Walt Disney had a bit of a rough start in his life. He was fired by a newspaper editor because, “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” After that, Disney started a number of businesses that didn’t last too long and ended with bankruptcy and failure. He kept plugging along, however, and eventually found a recipe for success that worked.

In his early years, teachers told Thomas Edison he was “too stupid to learn anything.” Work was no better, as he was fired from his first two jobs for not being productive enough. Even as an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. Of course, all those unsuccessful attempts finally resulted in the design that worked.

I could continue the list on and on. Well, these facts only give us, ordinary people, more confidence in our potential to develop and not to fail big in the future.

 

Russian Trains Are Legendary… Try One Some Day!

“Please, book me a flight. I am not going anywhere by train, I’ve had enough the previous time!”

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During my long career in international relations and tourism-related projects I have heard these words thousands of times! Many foreigh visitors to Ukraine and Russia had to deal with local railroad simply because it is the most developed (sometimes the only) way of transportation between cities in this part of the world. Our automobile roads are not as good as the western highways and even those which are available may be out of work during the winder period in some areas; travel by air is still too expensive for the locals, and thus it is still quite undeveloped. Since the first half of the 20-th century people in Russia (and all former Soviet territories) have been traveling by trains, there have been many attempts to romanticize train travel due to the tradition to talk and share the most sincere stories with people who you have just met, but even the most romantic people finally feel bored when they have to ride many hours in a very tiny compartment with a bunch of people they hardly know.

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The distances in Russia are really large, so it is hardly possible to avoid an overnight trip if you need to cover, say, 600 miles or more. For example, the train trip from Moscow to Vladivostok takes 7 days. There are modern and faster trains connecting cities in the European part of Russia, but still, most of the long distance trains are the traditional, slow overnight trains.

Here are some interesting facts about traveling by trains in Russia:

  • You can travel by one of three classes: luxury car (1-st class), compartment car (so called купе [kupE]), where you will find three other passengers besides you in the compartment, and the 3-dr class (so-called плацкарт [platskArt]), where compartments have no doors, and there are berths on the side along the aisle along the whole car.
  • The trains have no special cars or compartments only for women or only for men – you just buy your ticket and wait till the moment you get into your car to see who your fellow passengers are (you are lucky if no one travels with a very little child or with their favorite pets).
  •   There is a restaurant car in every long-distance train, however, food there will not be delicious, but will be quite overpriced, so traditionally most of the people take their home-made food with them. Be prepared for a rich variety of smells coming from every compartment on the way.

vagon_01food

  • The berths in compartments have standard length, and if you are very tall, you may be uncomfortable there.
  • Many people complain of being unable to sleep because the train moves, and of course you move all the time, too. This shaking may be quite irritating for those who are not used to such kind of travel.
  • Some trains are a bit faster than the others because they do not have too many stops. They are called fast trains (скорые поезда) and their numbers are usually from 001 to 120 or so, the bigger numbers usually identify so-called passenger trains (пассажирские поезда), which go slower and may have long stops in really many towns on their way. If you have a choice between a #64 train and a #360, choose the #64. It will get you to your destination sooner.
  • In summer time, riding in the train may be quite unbearable because of the heat (air conditionning hardly ever works), while in winter… it is also very hot and stuffy, because the car assistants have a habit to test your limit of bearing the heat. But Russians prefer to suffer from heat rather than to be freezing to their bones, so they rarely complain if it is too warm in the car.
vagon_01too-warm

too warm in the train

  • The tea in 2-nd class cars may still be served in traditional Russian glasses, but today, more and more often you will see modern glasses or cups rather than traditional ones.
  • Sometimes trains may be late to arrive. Passengers are often upset about it, of course, but no one ever tries to sue the railroad, because it is a huge monopolized and the passenger’s chances to win the case are very unrealistic.
  • The train assistants (usually women, Russians call them проводница [pravadnItsa]) expect you to tip them when they bring you tea and bisquits, but you will hardly get other services from them, even if you are willing to tip them (they will usually refuse to lay your bed or provide any other services).

vagon9

Well, there are a lot more little things that can make your Russia train trip unforgettable, but we will wrap it up here. We will gladly publish more information about Russian travel if you are interested. Please, do not hesitate to ask for more information in the comments.

A Russian Spotlight on Great Britain: the Way We See It

If you are a Russian who had English classes among other subjects at school, you certainly remember worming through the texts about Great Britain in your course books, and I bet you must remember your teacher of English! My memory still keeps the sound of my teacher’s voice, reciting with a terrible accent: “London is the capital of Great Britain…” Our teachers, who had never been to any of the English speaking countries and hardly ever met an English-speaker in person, did their job of teaching us about the British culture so well that many grown up Russians and Ukrainians today still have an unbreakable image of a typical Britisher in their heads: a neat, skinny man wearing a bow hat and a cane, walking around the Houses of Parliament, whose manners and face bear elusive, but reappearing features of Sherlock Holmes, Margaret Thatcher and Mr.Bean at the same time.

In a so-called English school, where I had classes of English during the whole 10-year cycle, we were taught even more: we had known the disposition of forces in the Battle of Hastings and such vital facts for the Soviet citizen as the dates of life of King Richard and the average weight of the Stonehenge stones. My teachers, both at high school and later in the English language department of university acknowledged the London accent as the only correct and legitimate, and thus the only accent acceptable in the classroom (you can imagine that accent in their performance, right?), so I remember myself sitting in the “lingua-phonetics” classroom (that’s how they called it) with a small looking glass in front of my mouth, trying to keep the “typical British smile” (that’s also the way they called it) and repeating after the tape recorder dozens and dozens of times: “She sells sea shells on the sea shore…”

At the same time, our teachers never taught us simple things like the names of little objects which surround us in everday life: door handles, buttons, road bumps, cracks on plaster, and so on. Our teachers had a very artificial vision of the western lifestyle, and I believe many teachers of English still have it now. So even now, after decades of learning about English cultures and lifestyles, I am still surprised every time I find out a fact which I should have known since school, but I’d never heard it from anybody.

Just recently I found out that “the United Kingdom does not have a constitutionally defined official language (thank you, the UK Guide! http://www.commisceo-global.com/country-guides/uk-guide) It appears that English is the main language being spoken by more than 70% of the UK population and is thus the de facto official language.

The Guide I just mentioned above, provides very good sets of information about various cultures, and I believe their description of traditionalBritish etiquette and customs is quite correct. Anyway, I enjoyed reading through the paragraphs about the UK, and am now moving on to read about my own culture. Who knows, maybe I am going to learn something new there, too!

P.S. This is the famous Starkov and Dixon’s school coursebook of English which we used to have in the Soviet time as the main and the only book of English. This one was for 8-th graders (13-14 year-olds), and we were always called pupils, sometimes just comrades, but never we were called students.

en_textbook_soviet1

Relationship Danger Alert for Men

Like every other occupation, communicating with women has two sides: it may be most exciting and pleasant with some women, but with others it may turn out to be quite an opposite experience. Girls are beautiful, intelligent, funny… but still there are women you should avoid dating if you want to stay safe emotionally, physically, and even financially. Let us look at the most common traits of such women, which can (and should) be regarded as red flags at the very first stage of a new relationship.

1. Some women – probably the most popular type among men – can be called “gamers”, and gamers they are. Such woman will charm, seduce, and eagerly date the man, but she will never give him her heart. She is simply not a good material for a relationship, she prefers to move on from one guy to another and avoid long term affairs. A woman-gamer doesn’t care about the man’s emotions, she will turn him into her toy without doubt. Quite often, she is smart, educated, and knows very well what she is doing. The tricky part is the difficulty to identify a gamer, because she is quite experienced at fooling guys. The other thing is: she never opens up to anyone, so she won’t tell the man what kind of plans she has for him. A gamer plays her game as long as she is in the mood for playing, then she turns her back to the man and leaves. These qualities are quite common for this type of women:

  • She flirts with every guy she meets

  • She doesn’t give straight answers when asked about her dating history

  • She sends you mixed messages

  • She is charismatic, smart, and very good looking

  • She doesn’t always respond to calls/texts and often looks quite preoccupied with some of her chores, about which she speaks very little

If she flirts with a man, she is really charming, so it takes lots of effort and character not to be fooled.

05_party_girl

2. Another quite distinct type are women who love partying. They are perfect for short time flirting or having fun in a company of friends, but every talk about taking the relationship seriously scares the party girl away.
These women are simply not ready to take any serious responsibility, besides… they love partying too much! If you aren’t much of a party guy yourself, this can cause some problems down the road. It is not difficult to identify a party girl, because

  • She goes out practically every night and she always parties on weekends

  • She loves drinking, so her stories usually start with: “Oh, I got so drunk last Saturday that I…”

  • Logically, she’s frequently hung over

  • She knows every bartender in town and knows all liquor stores in quite a large radius from her home

With such a girl, the man should be prepared to deal with the side effects of her lifestyle. While intoxicated, a party girl can make decisions which could devastate even the strongest relationship. She may be very beautiful, funny, humorous, communicative; very probably, she is always provocatively dressed and flirts quite skillfully, but all of her positive traits will inevitable be negated by her love for alcohol and general levity.

3. A very well-known type of Russian women, who frequently take a fancy of dealing with dating/marriage agencies, is a so-called gold-digger. Women gold diggers will go to great lengths to find and date men with money, because their idea is to live a life of luxury without having to work for it. Gold diggers are usually very shallow and value money more than anything else. If the girl who you just met seems to be only concerned about the money you make, the relationship will go the wrong way from the very beginning. Such women are never satisfied with your gifts, attention and efforts to please them. A typical gold digger can be identified by the following behavior:

  • She expects you to pay for everything

  • She’s very disappointed when you don’t spend money on her

  • She pursues you more aggressively than you pursue her

  • She is obsessed with living a lavish lifestyle but can’t afford it

  • She is shallow and materialistic

05_psycho_girl

4. Another quite “dangerous” type of women is a so-called psycho girl. Dating them inevitably brings men to very serious challenges. Psycho girls are quite insecure, and at the same time, controlling, manipulative, and needy. Quite often, they are very selfishly motivated. If that isn’t bad enough, they’re the most difficult type of girl to break up with. If you try a serious relationship with a psycho woman and she becomes dependent on you, breaking up with her may turn into a real nightmare. She’ll kick and scream to the very end and might even make threats against you or herself. This is where things can get really dangerous for your emotional and physical well being. To identify a psycho at an early stage of acquaintance, pay attention to these little signals:

  • She calls or texts you constantly to see what you’re doing

  • She discourages you to hang out with your friends, especially other girls

  • She never seems to trust you

  • She cries or throws tantrums to get her way

  • She is emotionally unstable

Dating a psycho is a surefire way to make your life a living hell. Even if the sex is awesome, it comes at a very high price. You’ll feel like you’re on a leash and won’t have enough freedom in your life. If a girl you’re dating starts exhibiting behaviors of a psycho, consider carefully wrapping up the relationship before things get really troublesome.

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