If this title made you smile, it means you know what I am talking about: while a man’s heart can easily be conquered by a tasty meal and a bit of flirting, the woman’s affinity has to be earned by numerous elaborate steps, which may be quite pricey sometimes. Is there a way for a man to touch his woman’s heart without having to hack into his budget?

It seems there is a way. Try doing the following things every day during a week or so, and I am sure you will see changes in her behavior toward you, because no woman (no matter how much she likes getting presents) can remain indifferent to these signs of care and respect:

1. Create continuous feeling of togetherness with your woman by staying in touch with her during the day (text, call, or skype her during the day to ask how her day is going). Display sincere interest in matters which are important to her, and she will be very thankful to you.

2. Find a reason to praise her for something (good cooking, a nice outfit, smart communication with a neighbor – anything) and do this once a day to let her feel she just did something really well.

3. Touch, embrace, or kiss her when she does not expect this – do it tenderly, let her feel your warmth, show her that you sincerely treasure her. You don’t have to look for any reasons to do this: just come up quietly, right when she is cooking or washing dishes, touch her by her shoulders, and kiss her hair or neck – no need to say anything, no need for a response – let her see that you do this just because being around her is a pleasure for you. Repeat it daily, and by the end of the first week you will see a big change in your communication.

4. Do something nice to her when she does not expect it. It can be anything that she traditionally does by herself. Just be there before her and do it. No words needed. (As you can see, I am not talking about bringing home flowers or putting presents on her pillow. Believe me, your simple act of doing the bed or cleaning the kitchen table after breakfast will be more appreciated than the flowers.)

5. Talk. Talk about anything that you have learned during the day. Just discuss things. Casually. Share your thoughts and listen to hers. Make her feel that her thoughts and emotions are important to you.

6. Use body language. Communicate by all extra-linguistic means you can think of. Sometimes, eyes can say a lot more than words, so do your hands and your bodies. Little by little, you will develop common body language, unless you have already done so. Develop it, make it more meaningful every day, because common body language is a way to build complete trust in each other.

These simple “exercises” are directed at developing the three basic components of every strong, long-lasting relationship: mutual respect, trust, and honest communication, which we will discuss in the future articles.

By this article I am opening a series of posts about relationships – the topic which I have been studying for decades now. Having spent many years assisting the westerners in their trips to the Russian speaking world, I have seen hundreds of couples set up and develop romantic relationships. Some of those stories were so captivating that I still keep rolling them over in my memory now and then. Now, I am glad to share my observations, they might be beneficial to the new venturers, whose tribe does not seem to dry out with time.

Alright, to begin with, let us see what precedes a relationship and what are the first steps one should take before plunging into the world of soul-mate search.

1. Prepare yourself. This sounds a bit too indubitable to even mention it here, but in practical life many people behave impulsively, without bothering themselves to decide what they really want to achieve in the end. The word “romantic”, however, does not mean “spontaneous” or “completely out of control”, so you will need to focus even here. To prepare yourself for a romantic relationship, you need to simply open a beer and (slowly and honestly) go down the following checklist:

• Define in one word what you want to obtain from your romantic relationship (Just one word! No paltering with yourself, okay? Just one word: is it “tenderness”, or “sex”, or “togetherness”, “time-killing”, or “adventure”? Don’t hurry, think well, your beer bottle is still nearly full);
• Make sure you are entering the relationship with open mind and clear heart, you are not doing this as a revenge to your ex; you are not doing this because all of your friends are doing this; you are doing this for yourself. You should be very independent in your commitment this time;
• Decide how much time you will need every day (every week) to proceed with your “relationship project”. It is good not to change your time habits in favor of the relationship. This is important because if it suddenly takes too much of your time, the situation will sooner or later go out of your control and the whole “project” will fail. (Yes, it is absolutely right to be business-like even in such thing as romance, not to mention that your women will love it);
• Select an approach. Would you like an online romance or a real-time one? How will you do it in the very beginning? Are you about to try some previously developed first meeting “tricks” or would you rather try something new? Just think it over, slowly and calmly. Take another beer, if needed.
• Make sure you understand yourself, sexually and emotionally. Just sort it out in your mind before you begin meeting someone.
• Try to avoid any labels and avoid comparing. There is no need to compare the new relationship with any of your past experiences, it will anyway be different from anything you have known before.

2. You’ll need to be bold. As a Russian saying goes, Лучше сделать и жалеть, чем не сделать и жалеть (You’d better do something and regret it than not do it and regret it anyway.) Whatever you do, be yourself and never compromise your values and opinions.

3. You’ll need to be careful with such a thing as compromise. They say, compromising is good, but if you start to give in on issues early on, it sets a bad precedent for future dealings, so you’d better stay alert.

4. Also, it is good to find out about your romantic partner’s boundaries and let her know yours. During one of the first meetings, share casually about your likes and dislikes. I mean, if she or you are uncomfortable with hand-holding, public touching or anything else that may create an upsetting moment, just make sure that you are both aware of this.

5. Try to be objective with yourself and your partner; there is no need in pretending that your relationship is something more than it really is.

Well, these are very simple, general and seemingly obvious tips, but I have seen so many people who ignored them, and this caused complications at the early stages of relationships. Well, anyway, a bit of planning is not going to harm you. I hope these little tips will help.

An exerpt from WAITING FOR THE DANCE. This is what Luck herself thinks about people’s fears:

“In human society, lack of communication has been known as a common fallacy, it always keeps abreast of the human race. Inability to keep dialog leads millions to misery, sufferings and death, yet even today, millennia after people had learned to speak, they still seem to underrate the simplest anti–conflict remedy of all – conversation. Their reason for being so closed up is ridiculous: fear, trivial fear of looking stupid in the eyes of others, because in human society, the one who speaks the least is considered the wisest. Following common delusion, Boris did exactly what other people traditionally do: he said nothing to Inga about the weird situation during their BMW ride with Alec that morning.

Hmm. Fear again. It looks like it rules over each and every decision in the human world. The fear of losing one’s body or having it hurt determines human behavior; fear hampers the work of brain, narrows horizons, limits the mind’s capacity to only using well–tested, familiar behavioral models. It is a funny paradox; the human brain, which is supposed to be trying to free itself from the prison of its vulnerable body, deliberately hampers its own work by continuously producing fear to ensure the body protection against undesired influences, simply because no brain can live without a body! It looks like the Creator’s idea of a bad joke to me. However, people never have enough confidence to judge the Creator, so they prefer to accept things as they are.”