How to Memorize English Words

Как запоминать английские слова?

Мне часто задают этот вопрос те, кто занимается английским пассивно (т.е. самостоятельно, без спешки, так сказать, на всякий случай). Эта статья – ответ именно для таких учащихся, которые могут позволить себе выделить 10-20 минут в день для занятий языком: не очень много, но зато регулярно. Здесь я перечислю несколько эффективных способов запоминания, а вы можете выбрать для себя те, которые вам более всего по душе.

  1. Из всех новых слов вы скорее всего легко запомните именно те, которые наиболее “привычны” вам в родном языке. Говоря на родном языке, каждый из нас использует свой индивидуальный набор слов: вы наверно заметили, что кто-то из ваших знакомых не может обходиться, например, без слова “Разумеется!”, а другой часто повторяет фразу “А ты как думал?” и т.п. У каждого человека – свой набор характерной для него лексики. Поэтому вам не стоит насиловать себя запоминанием слов, которые упорно не хотят запоминаться. Сосредоточьте внимание на тех словах, которые с первого раза показались вам “родными”.
  2. Слова лучше всего запоминаются, когда вы встречаете их в образном контексте. Слово “чемодан”(suitcase), например, гораздо быстрее запомнится, если вы постараетесь запомнить его в словосочетании с другим словом, которое вызовет у вас устойчивый зрительный образ и даже эмоциональную реакцию, например: “чемодан денег” (a suitcase full of money; money in a suitcase).
  3. Пытайтесь придумывать предложения с каждым новым словом, причём так, чтобы в них говорилось о чём-то важном для вас. Если у вас есть любимый кот Мурзик, придумайте фразы про Мурзика в чемодане или что-нибудь в этом духе, и тогда это слово будет “крутиться” у вас в голове целый день и к вечеру запомнится навсегда.
  4. Быстро запоминаются также слова, которые вы можете мысленно сопоставить с уже знакомыми вам словами или построить рифму (suit-case / good-race / cute-face…). Мне приходилось слышать от студентов, как ловко они переделывают английские слова в шуточные русские фразы, типа “very well, thank you” = “у Веры ел, с Сенькою” Если новое слово упорно вызывает у вас шутливую ассоциацию, значит оно запомнится моментально.
  5. Вообще запоминать что-либо нужно с удовольствием. Возьмите пять новых слов, напишите их на карточках и поиграйте с карточками: положите одну в холодильник, другую  – в рабочий стол, третью прикрепите на зеркало в ванной и т.д. Дальше – можете заниматься другими делами. Всякий раз, наталкиваясь на карточки, вы будете “фотографировать” слова глазами. Сразу припоминайте перевод слова и произносите его вслух. К вечеру  всё запомнится!
  6. Старайтесь использовать изученную лексику в своей речи.  Даже если вы разговариваете на родном языке, но вам припомнилось английское слово, проговорите его в уме по-английски, а в своей речи постарайтесь использовать его в родном языке. Даже такая мысленная игра очень полезна для запоминания.
  7. Нарисуйте для себя так называемую интеллект-карту (mind map). В ней соберите в смысловые блоки те слова, которые вы уже знаете по конкретное теме. Вот пример такой карты, взятый нами из статьи на сайте englex.ru

mind-map В этой схеме – слова, разобранные по подтемам в общей теме “дом”. Сделайте для себя такую карту или составьте её вместе с близкими (например, с детьми), и слова улягутся в памяти сами собой.

Есть ещё много способов ускорить запоминание: регулярно посещать обучающие сайты, вести свой словарь новых слов, читать тексты на разные темы, составлять и писать предложения с новыми словами, но самое главное – это изучать язык в активном действии, и желательно – общаясь на нём.

Удобнее всего, конечно, организовать регулярное общение с носителями языка или преподавателями, но о таком – наиболее эффективном – способе запоминания, к которому прибегают в основном те, кто торопится изучить язык быстро и глубоко, мы поговорим в следующих статьях.

 

Russian School Diaries: Sweet Memories to Keep

In Russia, Ukraine, and everywhere about the former USSR, every student of primary and secondary school must have a so-called diary (дневник [dnevnik]) – a printed notebook, where the student is supposed to make daily entries of their tasks for homework, and teachers usually leave short notes for parents and put down the student’s grades whenever he or she made an oral presentation in class or got a test grade in the class register. Dnevnik is a so-to-say form of communication between teachers and parents via the kid’s book of daily notes.

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The school year extends from September 1 to end of May and is divided into four terms with a week-long vacation periods between them. The programme of study in schools is fixed, it amazes me how stable it has been over the years: the program which my mother had at her maths class in the 1950-es at the age of 12 is practically identical to what my daughter studied at her age of 12 in 2003. Neither can schoolchildren choose the subjects they want to study. The class load per student is 638 hours a year for nine-year-olds, 893 for thirteen-year-olds, plus there are official hours of additional classwork within the program. The students are supposed to write with pens of blue color, while teachers always use red. You can see the student’s notes in blue in the “dnevnik” below, and the teacher’s entries in red: the grades, the teacher’s signatures, and sometimes short notes for the parents asking to pay attention at their kid’s behavior or attention in the classroom.

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Students are graded on a 5-step scale, ranging in practice from 2 (“unacceptable”) to 5 (“excellent”); 1 is a rarely used sign of extreme failure. Teachers regularly subdivide these grades (i.e. 4+, 5-) in daily use, but term and year results are graded strictly 2, 3, 4 or 5.

The teachers’ entries into “dnevnik” have always caused excitement in our minds, and the mother’s or father’s voice, saying: “Show me your dnevnik!” remains in everyone’s memory till the end of our lives!

High school kids are usually bored by school, and those wh want to show that they don’t give a damn to the school rules, can do this to their “dnevniks” sometimes:

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But the most memorable are the humorous moments, when teachers, being driven to madness by kids, leave very funny notes in dnevniks. In Russia and Ukraine, we even have websites, where people contribute photos or scans of their kid’s dnevnik pages with very funny teachers’ notes. This page, for example, has a few entries about a boy’s bad behavior:

  1. “Нарисовал половой орган на доске!” – “He drew a penis on the black board!”
  2. Кричал “Ленин жив!” – “He cried out “Lenin’s alive!”, and in the bottom part of the page:
  3. “Продавал одноклассника в рабство” – “Tried selling his classmate to slavery.”

Looks like quite an action-packed day for a school boy, doesn’t it?

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About Ukrainian Women’s Struggle to Be Allowed to Fight

This article is not about the war, but about the women who happened to live in the war time. For nearly three years now, Ukrainian women have been playing an equally important role with men in the events, taking place in the country. Women have been carrying out their missions at the forefront as military nurses, intelligence officers, snipers, commanders of military hardware. Hundreds of women have been working as doctors, nurses, secretaries, accountants, cooks, or just helping the army as volunteers by collecting vital aid and delivering it to the front line. In all regions of the country, women work at production plants and at farms to produce the necessary supplies for the army.

ua_women-at-war According to data released by the Ministry of Defense in March 2016, there are 17,000 women soldiers in the Armed Forces of Ukraine, including 2,200 officers. Another 33,000 are working at positions of civil servants and employees of the Armed Forces of Ukraine. More than 1,500 were performing tasks in the Anti-Terrorist Operation (ATO) Zone.

However, women’s tasks in the Ukrainian Army are not limited by what I have listed above. Quite often they perform the same duties as men, but do not receive the same rights and the same state support, including when they come back from war, because never before the Ukrainian legislators considered women as potential soldiers or fighters of any kind. Due to the legal shortcomings and oversights, Ukrainian women face a number of obstacles when they try to enter the army as volunteers. Which means that those who succeed are highly motivated to serve for Ukraine. Sometimes their motivation is much higher than men’s.

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Today, after some changes were made to the Ukrainian legislation in 2016, women soldiers are protected a bit better, but the optimism of the women’s rights fighters is a bit premature.

The female soldiers in Ukraine have the same rights which are foreseen by the legislation on the social protection for women, protection of maternity and childhood. In the case of a so-called mobilization, all women soldiers who have children under 18 can be out of soldiering if they will not want to continue it. If mobilization is announced, all women who want to continue their soldiering should sign a statement confirming their choice, by it stating that family becomes secondary for them.

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The first sociological study on women’s participation in the Donbas war – metaphorically named the “Invisible Battalion” (as women’s experience in the Ukrainian army is largely invisible to the public and legislation) – was presented in Kyiv in the end of 2015. The study was based on 50 interviews with men and women who have served in the combat zone. A separate section was devoted to women’s participation in Euromaidan and the Women’s Sotnya (meaning: Women’s Hundred) as shortly after the revolution many female activists set off to the eastern front.

Sociologists explained the motivation that drove Ukrainian female volunteers. They joined the fight for patriotic reasons and plan to remain until the end of the war. These women are usually much more motivated than men as they must overcome many stereotypes, prove their right to fight along with men and accept the fact that they cannot count on social protection.

And still, while the legislation is not adjusted to the current situation, women have to remind men about their rights. Some activists are strongly convinced that in modern society, women should have the right to choose whether they want to cook borshch or die on the barricades.

“Our government’s  paternalism is rather outdated. Many international documents declare that the role of women is slowly changing – not only are they viewed as victims of conflict, but as representatives in conflict resolution, together with men.” says sociologist and researcher Tamara Martsenyuk. She believes that women’s rights should be determined as part of labour legislation. Specific rules on women’s labour dates back to the Soviet era… for example, Ukrainian women are not allowed to lift heavy objects or drive certain vehicles.

However, many men (and some women, as well) do not think this list is discriminatory. Working as a chauffeur/driver in the army implies not only driving. “A driver is responsible for his vehicle, knows how to camouflage and repair it. With all due respect, women cannot always cope with these situations,” saysColonel Holota, the head of the military social division of the Personnel Department with the Armed Forces. 

There are currently 14,500 women serving in the army, almost 2,000 of them are officers, and 35 hold senior positions in the Ministry of Defence, the General Staff, and the different types of Armed Forces of Ukraine. 938 women are listed as active soldiers.

Still, even after the two world wars, a number of armed conflicts and a few revolutions which shook Ukraine during the 20-th century, the general approach to a woman, that sits deep in the minds of population, has never changed: a woman is a symbol of peaceful life and her best place is at work, at home, or with kids, but not in the front. It must be this general attitude that slows down the process of changes regarding the women-soldiers rights in Ukraine.

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How Effective Are the Self-Study Courses of English?

Насколько эффективны аудио и видео курсы английского для самостоятельного обучения?

Сегодня полки книжных магазинов, а пуще того – образовательные сайты, соц сети и торренты переполнены предложениями красочных, хорошо продуманных и адаптированных к конкретным нуждам пользователей курсов иностранных языков, включающих в себя полный набор материалов: книги, аудио диски и видео. Выбор действительно богат, особенно если вас интересует изучение английского – самого популярного в мире языка.

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Вы можете отыскать специальные пособия, ориентированные на изучение, например, бизнес-лексики или языка дипломатического общения, или просто учебники разговорного языка, или справочники для туристов и путешественников. Занятия по таким учебникам обычно весьма увлекательны, потому что вы можете почитать, послушать и посмотреть материалы на определённую тему и многие слова запомнятся довольно быстро. Такие курсы великолепны, например, для молодых мам, которые каждый день час-другой гудяют с колясками по парку, или для тех, чья работа позволяет, надев наушники, уйти в себя во время рабочего дня и погрузиться в обучение. Хороши эти курсы также для очень орнанизованных, последовательных людей, кому характер позволяет установить для себя рутинное действие и повторять его ежедневно, как говорится, без выходных и перерывов.

Однако, ни в одном из этих случаев учащийся не может рассчитывать, что изучит язык самостоятельно настолько хорошо, чтобы использовать его в общении с носителями языка. Как бы ни были хороши предлагаемые нам курсы, все они могут претендовать только на почётное звание “дополнительных материалов”, потому что им не достаёт всего одного, но, к сожалению, главного элемента: живого общения. Мне приходится повторять это множество раз, пытаясь уберечь людей от самообмана:

Иностранный язык можно усвоить ТОЛЬКО путём общения

с теми, кто им владеет или для кого он является родным.

Поэтому любые курсы, снабжённые аудио и видео материалами, можно расценивать как замечатеьное и очень эффективное… дополнение к общению, которое вам необходисо организовать с преподавателями или с носителями языка. Ведь вы изучаете язык для того, чтобы общаться на нём, так? Так. А значит, нужно отставить в сторону боязнь ошибок и прочие предрассудки и первым делом отыскать того (или тех), кто станет общаться с вами на языке на регулярной основе. И общаться: общаться взахлёб. И когда это случится, то и купленные вами медиа-курсы станут усваиваться совершенно по-новому: быстро и эффективно. 

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About Russian Friendly Hugs, Kisses and Holding Hands While Walking

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This is a little quick post about traditional Russian kissing, hugging, and holding hands in public, which is especially popular among young women-friends. Unlike many may think, these apparent signs of appreciation to each other are nothing more than expressions of very friendly disposition. While many western cultures would “read” this behavior as unmistakable signs of involvement into intimate relationship, in the Slavic cultures this is nothing more than an open display of very close friendship. Many young people kiss at meeting and when saying bye to each other, especially when they are old school buddies or student mates. Friendly kissing and hugging is not uncommon between opposite sexes, too.

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The Russian manner of walking hand in hand, when the man holds his lady “by the elbow” is well known in many cities around the world. Again, it does not mean that the two people have intimate relations – this is only a friendly stroll, that’s all! Friends of any age, even very elderly people, can be seen walking this way.

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On meeting, the Russians often hug each other, and sometimes even kiss. They do not do this like the French, who “symbolically” kiss the air around each other’s cheeks, the Russian kiss is quite real. Optionally, there may be a three-fold kiss, quite noisy and “physical”. Any kind of touching, hugging, or patting each other’s backs or shoulders is quite popular, both among men and women. In the Russian culture, a good touch is the best way to express your friendly and trustful disposition.

 

 

Age Stereotypes in Russian Society

The FSU (Former Soviet Union) countries, though very diverse and even hostile to each other today, still bear amazingly many commonalities in lifestyles, social behavior, and mentality. One of the common traits of the former Soviet people is the tendency to stick to the old stereotypes, which were developed by previous generations and still remain unbreakable today. The age and gender stereotypes seem to be the strongest of all. Millions of the former Soviets continue to observe the rules of age-appropriate behavior in treating friends and relatives, working relations, household traditions, fashion, etiquette, general manners, and speech. Age discrimination at work is still quite common, and gender differences are not only accepted, but welcomed by both sexes.

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A very sad and, unfortunately, prevalent sign of life in all post-Soviet republics is the attitude to the older generation. People over 65 are literally thrown out of life. Very few of them take part in any social activities, their only occupation is taking care of grandchildren and doing household chores, while their children work and pursue careers. It is typical for people of this age to spend years in and around their homes; very few of them can afford to ravel, and statistically less than 1% of elderly people ever go to movie theaters, eat out, or attend any entertainment events.

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There are several explanations to this fact, such as declining health and decreased income (average monthly pension in Russia in 2016 is $200, and about $150 in Ukraine), but beyond that is the old, sticky stereotype: “Everyone else lives like this, so why wouldn’t I live this life, too?” Among average population, it is considered inappropriate for an elderly person to attended rock concerts, ride a motorbike or do a lot of sports. So, the majority does “the appropriate” stuff like spending time with grandchildren, taking care of home, jam making, knitting, or watching TV. This stereotype sits deep in people’s minds, depriving them of the fun and leisure which they deserved during the long life of hard work.

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Another area in which age stereotypes are mostly subconscious, yet strong is the way people tend to dress and look. Only certain clothes are considered appropriate for each age group. When you are in your 40s, 50s, or older, wearing make up, short skirts and shorts and youthful hairstyles may cause misunderstanding of others, so an older person will rather refuse from wearing them than risk it, because average citizens of the former Soviet world still care what other members of the society think about them.

Middle aged people have hard time finding jobs. Though any discrimination against applicants is prohibited by law, people who reached the age of 40 or even 35 are of little interest to employers. If the age requirements are not listed, the candidates over that age still have slim chances to get a job. The main reason for this is incompetence of HR managers (who are usually very young people) and lack of research that would show that companies miss out when they discriminate candidates and employees by age. Employees over 40 are experienced, mature and it is likely that they don’t have as many personal distractions as the younger workers do.

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Younger adults, especially students and recent graduates, have their own stereotypes within their age group. Though these stereotypes are erasing little by little, but still the idea of getting married before you hit 25 (mostly among women, though it is not disregarded by men, either) is commonly accepted. Many young people, even the well-educated graduates of good universities, have difficulties finding their first jobs. This also happens largely due to a common stereotype of seeing university graduates as very inexperienced people – almost children – who are not ready to enter the working relationships. As jobs are difficult to find, the large percent of young people never have any experience of working until they graduate from universities (usually at the age of 22-23). Overwhelming majority of young people enter universities right after finishing high schools, and there, during the whole time of study they depend completely on their parents, who support them financially under the only condition that they should study hard and obtain the higher education diploma.

Should the Man Escort the Woman to her Door After a Date?

I just ran across a poll with this question on one of the Russian media portals, and of course I could not help looking at the answers. The poll looked like this:

Question: Should a man escort the woman to her door (and / or pay for her taxi) after a date? (Опрос: Должен ли мужчина провожать женщину и/или оплачивать такси после свидания?)

Answers:  Yes (Да) – 591(67.2%) ; No (Нет) – 207(23.5%);  I don’t know (Не знаю) – 81(9.2%)

Total participants (Участников): 879

To be honest, my first reaction was a surprise. To me, a woman, the only correct answer to this question was obvious, it seemed funny that such a question could be raised in a poll at all. Then I glanced at the figures and found that the participants’ opinions divided to statistically significant values of 67% against 23.5%. More than two hundred people in a bit less than a thousand had an opinion different than mine! I realized that the question was probably worth thinking over.

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So, this is my – female – look at the problem:

Every woman (at least, in my culture) expects her man to finish the business he started and deliver her home at the end of the date, no matter whether the date was a success or not.

The “No”-answer responders in this poll must be men, and I understand why. After the first date, the man is not sure whether he is ready to spend all his life with this girl. He may like her a lot and enjoy spending time with her, and he would certainly do it with her.., but that would be all. So, the male logic is: what’s the sense in escorting her to her door if the future relationship her is so unclear?

Well, I still feel that the “Yes” respondents were right: the benefits are quite evident. First, it is the matter of etiquette. The date is not over until he makes sure that she is at home, happy and safe. If he does, he feels good like a gentleman who has accomplished his duty.

Secondly, hmm- what if she suddenly dashes to him at her door and lets the evening develop in its best possible way?

Thirdly, just showing her that he cares would certainly mean that this man will be welcome to call her again any time and – who knows – maybe that next date will really be a success! 

Breaking Myths: Is it Possible to Learn English in a Few Weeks?

Возможно ли выучить английский за несколько недель?

Начну ответ со встречного вопроса: как быстро и каким образом вы усвоили родной язык? Давайте порассуждаем: человек усваивает родной язык на протяжении нескольких лет и только на 4-м году жизни среднестатистический ребёнок начинает связно разговаривать, хотя и вдальнейшем продолжает делать ошибки, искажать слова и нарушать традиционные нормы речи. Более того, все мы знаем, что если с ребёнком не общаться ежедневно и полноценно, то он не заговорит вовсе: ему необходимо непрерывно слышать язык, учиться строить высказывания самостоятельно и получать непрерывную реакцию окружающих на его слова. Это – необходимые условия любого процесса коммуникации, потому что изучение языка происходит путём усвоения языкового опыта, а оно возможно только (!) в практике общения.

Любой человеческий язык, в том числе и английский, усваивается в процессе многих часов говорения (это специальный термин у филологов). Учащемуся недостаточно слышать речь других или читать на иностранном языке (эдак можно потратить десятилетия, изучая язык, но так и не научиться на нём говорить; таких примеров, кстати, в нашей стране множество, особенно среди людей старшего поколения). Любой, кому важен результат обучения, должен тратить 90% учебного времени на попытки высказывать свои мысли (с ошибками или без – это не важно, главное – пытаться говорить).  Исходя из этого, можно смело построить математическую зависимость:

владение иностранным языком прямо пропорционально количеству времени, затраченному на говорение на этом языке.

Без сотен часов эффективного говорения на языке усвоить его невозможно. Поэтому рекламные объявления типа: “АНГЛИЙСКИЙ ЗА 5 НЕДЕЛЬ!” или даже “АНГЛИЙСКИЙ ДО АВТОМАТИЗМА ЗА 15 НЕДЕЛЬ!” – это откровенное враньё. Согласна, что можно научиться произносить определённые фразы и за 15 недель довести их использование до автоматизма. Но это – задача для владельцев попугаев, а не для изучающих язык с целью дальнейшего эффективного общения.

Научиться говорить на языке можно только общаясь на нём с теми, кто им уже владеет.

Поэтому всякий, кому предстоит изучение иностранного языка, планируя свои занятия, должен учитывать следующие условия:

  • Выбирая преподавателя, убедитесь, что он предложит вам обучение через общение (они часто называют это занятиями по коммуникативной методике). Спросите напрямую, как ваш преподаватель намерен распределять учебное время и ожидайте услышать ответ, что 90% времени будет посвящено  именно говорению (речевой практике), независимо от вашего уровня знаний. В случае с английским вы сможете строить примитивные высказывания уже на первом занятии, даже если никогда ранее не изучали его.
  • Преподаватель, который кормит вас обещаниями, что вы овладеете языком за несколько недель, скорее всего сам не верит в то, что говорит. За такой срок можно овладеть некоторым объёмом фраз и научиться использовать их в различны житейских ситуациях (и это, кстати, неплохое начало), а серьёзное владение языком требует многомесячной и даже многолетней практики ежедневного общения.
  • Лучше не доверяться преподавателю, который не спросит вас о конечной цели обучения. Все современные преподаватели, которые хорошо знают своё дело, обязательно разрабатывают учебную программу занятий для конкретного учащегося, принимая во внимание его непосредственную цель обучения, чтобы не “загружать” его информацией, которая в его случае является второстепенной.
  • Иностранный язык невозможно изучить отдельно от культуры, потому что он по сути является отражением культуры и мышления народа, который на нём говорит. Организуйте свою жизнь так, чтобы вы каждый день были “окружены” языком и его культурой. Слава богу, при нынешних технологиях это доступно каждому, надо только захотеть.
  • Запаситесь терпением. Изучение нового языка (во взрослом возрасте) – это всегда труд. Системность, регулярность, непрерывность: вот слова, которые должны стать главными характеристиками вашего обучения.
  • Старайтесь никогда не заниматься “через силу”. Обучение не должно быть наказанием. Наоборот, старайтесь не терять мотивации и настроиться на то, что скоро вам станет так же легко выражать мысли по-английски, как вы делаете это на родном языке.

Итак, ответ твёрд и беспощаден: овладеть английским за несколько недель невозможно. Можно, однако, взять хороший старт, если организовать своё время так, чтобы вы имели возможность говорить на языке (пусть на самом примитивном уровне) регулярно.

 

Relationships FAQ: “How can I make sure the Russian girl I am writing to is real?”

A few years ago, I received a service request from a Canadian man (let me call him Jacob here), who needed to find a local phone number or any other contact information of a Ukrainian woman, with whom he had been corresponding for nearly half a year, and who suddenly stopped writing to him. Because I am native to Russian/Ukrainian cultures and languages, it was quite obvious that I had a better potential to find that information for him. Jacob asked me to do a simple thing: send her a phone message or a postcard, saying that he was worried about her because she had stopped comunicating with him quite abruptly and without any notice.

russian-scammer-girl

I spent a few hours making calls and searching through local directories and found four women with the same name, but soon I faced a kind of a dead end, because none of them was even close in the age, occupation, or appearance to the woman I was looking for. Well, Jacob provided me with more information, which he could collect from their correspondence (my, that was not much, taking that they had been dating online on daily basis for half of a year!), and after a few more days of really Sherlock-Holmish research I managed to find information, which undoubtedly proved the fact: the woman Jacob had been corresponding with was – attention here, please – a 20-year-old MALE student of a local university’s Department of history!

No need to say, Jacob was shocked. Then he grew indignant, then – revengeful, then – depressed. There was no way to return him the wasted time, effort, and emotional loss he had gone through due to that situation. It took Jacob months to overcome the stress and I don’t think he will ever again return to the idea of dating a woman online.

I am sorry to say that Jacob’s story is not unique: it repeats in different variations quite often, despite numerous warnings from experts, related companies, and casual witnesses. How can one avoid being scammed like Jacob? What are the red lights showing that your new online friend may not be the one who he/she claims to be? Here are a few signs which I picked up through years of olnine communication:

  • your online friend tends to ask you a lot f questions, but hardly shares any facts about his/her life;
  • their information is available only in one resourse on the Internet – the one you are using, and no search provides you any proofs of the information the person has shared with you;
  • they are reluctant to share their photos: doesn’t it look odd when a beautiful woman is unwilling to share her photos? She may have some explanations why not, but still- this is quite unbelievable, isn’t it?
  • they appear and disappear online quite unexpectedly, their behavior is a bit erratic, and you never know when they will turn up online;
  • they often tell you they are very busy, so you cannot count on regular communication with them;
  • they complain a lot, it looks like their life is full of difficulties which they have to overcome on daily basis;
  • they find lots of reasons why they can’t have video (or even voice) conferences with you, they always prefer to “just type”;
  • their reasoning may sound illogical or inconsistent at times, yet you can’t get rid of a feeling that they have quite a practical look on things;
  • they never let you meet their friends or families; they try to convince you that your communication is a precious, intimate, one-on-one exchange, which they would not want to violate by anybody else’s presence;
  • after weeks (months) of communication, when you feel quite close to each other, they still don’t put much effort in trying to meet you in person;
  • they love dreaming about the beautiful future with you, but when it comes to action, you are the only one who takes every initiative.

I just realized that I could go on with the list, but I believe the above items are quite enough for a clear-headed person to suspect that their communication is a bit one-sided. Do be careful with your online communication; try not to grow emotional about anybody until you know for sure who is the real person behind that charming avatar. If you have any questions, suggestions, or stories to share, you are welcome to leave them in the comments or to contact me via the contact page on this site.

Great Thinkers Also Excel at Dumb Things. Why?

Wisdom does not guarantee us from silly behavior, it is a fact. Take Albert Einstein, Leo Tolstoy, Fyodor Dostoevsky, or any other great mind of the world, read their biographies and you’ll see what I mean. I think I know a few reasons why the most outstanding minds of the world tend to err as badly as they excel in explaining the complexities of this world.

albert-einstein-quotes

  • The greatest thinkers tend to overthink things, and therefore, they overreact in social situations. The smartest people have the tendency to complicate everything in their mind, because they expect things to be complex.
  • The smartest people are often a bit too confident (not without reason, of course), and knowing that you are always right is tricky, because eventually you will lose the ability to question your own conclusions, while self-criticism is an inseparable part of general critical thinking ability, which helps continuously develop one’s mind.
  • Another thing is the lack of so-called emotional intelligence. Great thinkers often fail to understand, or simply ignore, other people’s emotions, while emotional intelligence is the greatest social skill. It is easy to make fool of yourself if you try to ignore common social habits or traditions.
  • Quite often, great thinkers lack practical skills, which are necessary in social life. The greatest thinkers are often weak at simple practical tasks, which makes them quite vulnerable in thr eyes of ordinary people.

Just a few facts to think over:

Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four and did not read until he was seven, causing his teachers and parents to think he was mentally handicapped, slow and anti-social. Eventually, he was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School.

Isaac Newton was undoubtedly a genius when it came to math, but he had some failings early on. He never did particularly well in school and when put in charge of running the family farm, he failed miserably, so poorly in fact that an uncle took charge and sent him off to Cambridge where he finally blossomed into the scholar we know today.

Winston Churchill struggled in school and failed the sixth grade. After school he faced many years of political failures, as he was defeated in every election for public office until he finally became the Prime Minister at the ripe old age of 62.

Walt Disney had a bit of a rough start in his life. He was fired by a newspaper editor because, “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” After that, Disney started a number of businesses that didn’t last too long and ended with bankruptcy and failure. He kept plugging along, however, and eventually found a recipe for success that worked.

In his early years, teachers told Thomas Edison he was “too stupid to learn anything.” Work was no better, as he was fired from his first two jobs for not being productive enough. Even as an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. Of course, all those unsuccessful attempts finally resulted in the design that worked.

I could continue the list on and on. Well, these facts only give us, ordinary people, more confidence in our potential to develop and not to fail big in the future.

 

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